


On Your Knees

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Branding, But I added my own plot shit, Hate to Love, Loads of excruciating hate, M/M, Slavery, Tension, all that jazz, all the tension, the base is Ancient Egypt, this literally is all yolo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:17:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Levi attains his fair share of fucking up an innocent boy for his mother's wrong doing, It's Eren's turn to bring him down. They've both experienced the same loss, are on the same boat. But the loop of inflicting pain on each other doesn't seem to want to end. </p><p>--discontinued--</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was vast, vast and endless and crushing in a way, it made a mere human look small and helpless, even more than the chains binding a certain brunet's hands to his back. The sand was scalding, burned his toes whenever his sandals failed to keep their distance between the ground, and the occasional gust of wind that picked up the wretched material and tossed it in his eyes and went into his throat was an absolute nightmare. His whole situation was an absolute nightmare, actually, with death and enemy ahead and familial betrayal behind, Eren couldn't do anything then follow along and expect the worst. And hope he could maybe get out of this fucking desert soon with part of his sanity intact.

The guy that bought him was honestly decent if the possibilities of other extreme individuals were being taken into consideration, but something told Eren he wasn't to keep, and it would be a while until he settled at a certain owner. And even then it wouldn't last for much longer, because he was going to fucking kill whoever it was before their next dawn. His resolve wouldn't be destroyed that easily.

The journey was long and tiring, but they finally reached their terminus in about four days and a half. The guy even lent him a horse at a certain point, and Eren genuinely appreciated that since their caravan was pretty limited.

Finally, it came to an end at the borders of Eren's worst dread―and that was Memphis. A hint of recognition and he was dead, absolutely _done_. His features were too giving. Way too giving. It was a huge risk to be unprotected like this, but he had no choice.

Their first destination was the heart of the market, Eren's assumptions being true when he took in the slave market and it's numerous variety. It was going to take a long while before he was picked, if picked at all. After all, he was only on the brink of seventeen and he wasn't exceptionally tall or anything, but constantly being on the hunt and carrying wood back home did give him a bit of an impressive build. He wished he could think of something else, like escape, but the chains around his wrists and weight attached to his feet was a huge disadvantage. He'd seen a slave market before, once when his father took him to the big city. The best were picked out and displayed on a platform, then bid on, and the rest stayed behind until a day they'd be sold. It sort of struck him as surprising when he was ordered up only an hour after his arrival.

It was a frightening experience. And incredibly humiliating. He had to sit still, head lowered and silent, never addressed and only acknowledged when someone decides to grab his chin and gruffly lift his head up, glower at him and then move on. Part of him wanted to snarl and fight, the other part silently dreading the instant when one of them looks into his face and recognizes him. The early afternoon sun beat down on him mercilessly, and his legs were becoming numb from kneeling for so long. Hours passed, with nothing but the ruckus of the market and the buzz of obnoxious voices audible, and with the setting of the sun, the merchants and customers dissipated to a certain extent. Eren was on the verge of dozing off to sleep, aching from the long journey and the painful stance he had to take for hours. He hadn't noticed the pleasant whiff of what only the nobles could afford until it was right underneath his nose, and the gentle touch under his chin nearly shocked him after all the manhandling he'd went through that afternoon. He realized it was beckoning him upwards, and he lifted his head before the man could change his mind. 

He was met with vague features due to the dark night, but he distinguished a sculptured and firm male face, sandy or blond hair and the gleam of blue eyes. His gaze lacked the threat and the unpleasant intensity Eren had gotten so used to, and momentarily set him at ease. The man leaned back after having studied him for a few seconds, and gestured towards the merchant with a hand urging him closer. The merchant did so quickly, Eren picking up a "Yes, commander," And putting two and two together.

"I'll take him." Eren didn't think he'd be as relieved to hear those words as he was right now.

"Well, he's a bit pricey, with his ripe age and all." the man chuckled a little.

The so called commander paid the price with no further ado, and the merchant was ordering him up again. Before the merchant can return to his perch, though, the commander told him another thing."I'd like him unbound."

"What? Sir, his cooperation is not guarantee―"

"It's alright, I can handle him from here."

The shackles were indeed removed from him, and he rubbed at his worn wrists with a grimace. The man idly watched him as he did so, a small smile gracing his features when Eren threw a glance his way."Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir." He felt it necessary to address him with respect. The man walked ahead, four guards following behind. Eren followed him as well, keeping a small distance between them.

"Walk beside me, if you don't mind." Eren did as he was told, a small pang of uneasiness at the pit of his stomach present nonetheless. He was only a slave, after all, and the way he was being treated was hospitable.

"Where do you come from?"

The younger nearly said Canaan, but instantly corrected himself."Constantinople."

"Then how do you know our language?"

Eren had always prepared an answer for that question."My father's a merchant in these parts. I was curious, so he taught me."

"You're father's a merchant? Then why are you in this position?"

His jaw clenched tightly and he remained silent. The commander got the message and courteously changed the subject."Well, then. I'm Erwin Smith, but you are not mine to keep. You are a gift to a close friend."

Eren gnawed at his bottom lip nervously."Close friend...?" He found himself murmuring.

"Better known as the governor of Egypt."

And here Eren thought he'd been able to avoid the government officials."What...kind of gift, exactly?" His mind had assumed the worst uses for him.

"You are a slave. What do you think?"

He didn't know what to think. He didn't know how to feel either, he was too physically drained. They reached the governor's residence, which was a looming building of pillars and quite terrifying animal statues that Eren had forgotten the name of. Erwin was kind enough to let Eren bath before his encounter with his new owner, and Eren seriously debated drowning himself while he was alone to remove the chances of him being found out and tormented. At least he'd die free and honourable. But at the same time, he wouldn't see home again. That thought determined his decision.

The clothes he was provided with were pretty plain, but Eren realized with awe that they were silk and heavenly to wear. The only part that bothered him was the heavy shoulder piece, a round object with intricate bead lines shaping it down the middle of his chest, and it irked him because he wasn't used to apparel that hindered movement. The sandals were a mesh of leather straps up to his ankles, and the navy sash around his waist was a neat addition.

The commander escorted him through the intimidatingly large hallways of the palace-like home, and Eren really despised the regal air that came along with walking into the throne room, guards at his heel and a plush carpet at his feet. He didn't dare lift his head up during the long walk to the governor's throne until being asked to or directly addressed.

"Your highness." Erwin began, the casual way it rolled off of his tongue telling Eren he was less formal when it wasn't official like this."I brought you a gift."

There was a moment of silence as Eren assumed the man was taking him in, before there was a displeased sigh.

"Raise your head." Came the order from a deep and authoritative voice,  and Eren did so, trying to reduce his gaze of boldness and scrutiny to a minimum. Surprisingly, his appearance was simpler than what one would expect from his position, no jewellery, no crown or headpiece, just a tunic similar to the one Eren was wearing and a detailed shoulder piece. The darkest of hair framed his face, silky and trim, and the fact that he seemed so laid back from traditional clothing didn't make him any less intimidating. His eyes were captivating, a storm of grey and blue, sharp and attentive, and the thick and typical eyeliner greatly emphasized their color.

Then he saw it, a subtle twitch of a brow and an unmistakable flash of recognition in his eyes, and suddenly Eren felt anything but frightened. He wasn't sure if he should feel captivated or repulsed, because as much as he was an enemy to them, they were to him. He waited for the order to be slayed with bated breath.

Instead, he got an irked,"Why are you not kneeling?"

Eren suddenly felt conscious about this, and his eyes drifted to where the guards where hovering around him a second ago to find them kneeling with their foreheads pressed against the floor."It is not our tradition to kneel."

"Now you realize it is _our_ tradition."

Eren looked him straight in the eye and made sure his voice was fully composed."I will not kneel to another human being."

A dead silence fell over the occupants of the throne room, and a noise of astonishment vaguely reached his ears from the commander. The governor's eyes narrowed dangerously, his lips threatened to dip down, and suddenly, Eren knew he'd fucked up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren has a messed up back story, including how he was sold into a slave. Also, before you ask, the governor is not the pharaoh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can kiss your freedom goodbye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, Spaniard is just used to describe a Caucasian back then, not specifically Spain.

Eren had asked for something beyond his level. And it was evident in the displeasure in those eyes that he was going to pay for it dearly.

"I don't appreciate spunk, Canaan boy."

Eren stared at the floor in stunned silence, feeling sweat break at the back of his neck. Just when he thought he'd escaped his fate.

"I think you are mistaken, your highness. He is a Spaniard." Erwin interjected.

"How could you make such a mistake, commander? Look at his eyes."

The jerk. Trying to degrade him in front of an the snobby occupants of the throne. He glanced away with a frustrated grimace when Erwin tried to take another look at him, resisting the urge to kill and injure at the advantage of being unbound.

"Erd." The governor called in disinterest, beckoning a blond forward and whispering something in his ear. Guards were suddenly enclosing around him, and the Erd person was leading him through a door in the back to what Eren assumed would be nothing less severe than a death penalty.

-

Eren had no fucking clue what was happening. He remembered heat, a scalding sensation hovering above his back, and then indescribable pain when a disgusting hiss reached his ear. He had a second to stifle a scream in his hand before passing out-probably unable to stay conscious with the way it hurt so much, waking up in a completely different room and setting.

He had a moment to blink before pain shot through his entire back, and he bit his lip and  grimaced, noticing the frighteningly unfamiliar ceiling and pausing a little. Then something blurred his vision, and his eyes shot wide open.

"My, my, I see you're awake already." If he could move, then he would've jumped up by now, but his back seemed to hinder most of his movement. He was left staring up at a very close brunette's face, so close, in fact, that if he tilted his head to the side her bangs would brush against his cheek. She was practically straddling him and keeping him in place without touching him, and Eren was slightly scared out of his mind.

The steady sound of pouring water beside him and the small wave of steam that reached him was a lot more...secure feeling, and so was the small sigh that followed."Hanji, please. That's no way to treat our guest."

Guest? There they go again.

"I'm not bothering you, am I?" She grinned a little and batted her eyelashes at him, and Eren wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"He doesn't understand you, of course he's-"

"I do." Eren felt the need to clarify, and by now he was curious of the gentler presence."And..I'd appreciate some breathing space."

The brunette's eyes widened a fraction in wonder, and she seemed immune to his last comment. Shrugging, She leaned back and sat at the edge of the bed, the very soft and plush feeling bed at that- but Eren still felt too close to her.

"How curious. You know our language?" 

Eren turned his head to the side and took in the other woman standing beside his bed, hands occupied with a basin of warm water and a towel. She smiled a little when his eyes lingered on her, golden brown Bambi eyes softening in a way that reminded Eren of his mother. He swallowed down that thought quickly.

"Yes." He answered after an unnecessary gap of silence.

"Well that's great. Often we have trouble communicating with new comers. I'm Petra."

"You are not native to this land, I suppose?"

"No." There was a hint of melancholy in her voice, and by her apparent position, she might have started off like Eren as well.

"I'm Eren." He sympathized for some reason, without knowing much about her. 

"Welll, now that little part's over, I'm going to need check up on you." Eren had forgotten for a second about the weird, space invading lady.

"Why?"

"Silly." She laughed a little, giving Petra a look."Boy didn't know he got burned to a crisp."

"Hanji." 

Eren was severely confused now."What? When?"

The brunette gave him a look for a long moment."You got branded. You're the governor's now, no going back."

That didn't sound good."Wait, so I'm just...that just marks me as a slave, right?"

"No." Petra answered, avoiding his gaze."I'm a slave. I never got branded."

Eren swallowed thickly. There was a strangely maniac glint in Hanji's eyes.

"It means, lil' boy, that no matter where you go, where you try to run, you're never going to escape. It's like printing it on your forehead. Enslaved, for the rest of your life." She shrugged a shoulder."Kinda sucks."

Eren was still having a hard time taking this in. Hanji tsked."Here, I'll show you. Roll on your stomach."

He could practically hear the unsteady thud of his heart as he did so, for the first time noticing his lack of a shirt or a tunic, only a tight bandage wrapping around his chest to his lower back.

She began unbinding him, and it stung a lot, the last layer feeling like it was peeling off a layer of skin along with it. Petra then dipped the towel into the warm water and wiped away what he assumed was blood, and he didn't hesitate to express his pain this time because it fucking hurt. She dropped the bloody towel back into the basin and handed Hanji a mirror instead.

Eren's grip tightened around the sheets when she held it above his face and revealed the brown scars adorning his back."You can kiss your freedom goodbye."

The sick irony, Eren thought with horror as he stared at the overlapping, blocky and details wings that took up his entire back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha. Still have no clue.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, this is all hate hate hate and some explanations as to why.

It hurt his pride, more than anything, and kept him up awake all night as Hanji's words echoed off of his head. At this rate, he was going to get depressed or something.

He fell asleep at some point, waking up to the blinding and unwelcomed rays of sunlight filtering through his rather huge window. It was strange, how much what we was told contradicted how he was being treated. He felt like royalty.

"Eren." That was Petra's voice."The commander's here, you better wake up."

"Tell him I'm asleep." Eren murmured into his pillow, subconsciously drawing it closer.

Petra laughed incredulously."Looks like we spoiled you a little too much. Get up, quick." His bed sheets were pulled away from him with rather brute and swift force, one the likes of Petra didn't seem likely to possess.

He woke up in a sullen but resigned mood, knowing his situation couldn't be helped much in his current state.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Oho, what's this?" He got a smack on the shoulder that was meant to be playful but the guy had a really heavy hand and Eren stumbled a foot back."Found your respect again in the crevices of sleep?"

Eren unintentionally pouted and folded his arms over his chest tightly.

"Well. You still are a child, after all."

"Sir, I beg to differ." Eren tried not to downright snap back.

He laughed a little, and Eren decided he liked him a lot, more than that bitch on a throne.

"It'll get you in trouble soon, you'll see. More than what you're in."

"I'm not going down without a fight." The brunet tilted his chin upwards haughtily.

Erwin sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead."Well, I assume it's time you got a heads up of the day ahead of you. I'd like to evaluate your fighting skills first."

"What for?"

"Not to think about now. Tell me, how much do you know of swordsmanship and combat?"

"Hand to hand combat? I'm great. Asides from wooden swords and rods and playful brawls with friends, not so much."

The commander gave a thoughtful hum, and by then they'd somehow reached a huge pillared atrium.

"We'll start with hand to hand, then."

An open doorway at the back of the atrium caught Eren's attention, and he jogged up to it and poked his head inside."Woa. Is this, like, the entire army's weaponry?" He breathed in awe, the small amount of light illuminating the many glints of swords and spears and shields and weapons in the dank but greatly sized room.

"No. Couldn't even go for a quarter."

Erwin chuckled at the flabbergasted look Eren gave him.

"Could I get to try these later?" Eren inquired as he hopped back down onto the open atrium, adding a snarky afterthought."Betcha Mr. Governor doesn't use them all. If he even uses them at all. Can he even save himself from a fight? Guy's pretty short. Looks like he hasn't seen the sun for years, too."

Erwin had went quiet for some odd reason, and Eren's eyes flicked upwards just as the several scraping of sandals halted to a stop. His lips parted slightly when he saw the governor and his body guards standing just within earshot, but his gaze never faltered a bit.

"Would you like to get some hands-on experience of what your unfamiliar with? You seem conflicted." The governor nonchalantly threw in, tilting his head to the side in aggravating smoothness.

"I'm not conflicted." Eren shrugged."But yeah, sure, let's see what you got."

Eren stepped forward as the raven removed a diagonal sash from around his shoulders that seemed pretty annoying in action and tossed it back, the younger cracking his fingers in course excitement.

Levi beckoned him forward with two fingers, again, with a piss off of a demeanor, Eren fully aware of the many stares that fixated on them from all throughout the courtyard. He was waiting for him to make a move, on the edge of his toes, eyes trained with intensity that was countered with boredom and the everlasting hint of scorn. When the anticipated move weren't initiated for a long while, Eren took matters into his own hands. He punched a warm up fist, closer to his chin because really, he'd be more than pleased to knock him out right now, but found himself unable to do much when it was dodged with a swift tilt of his head, then a firm grasp enclosed around his arm, his feet were kicked unnecessarily hard from beneath him, and his back met the floor in loud slam.

His eyes blew up and his pupils dilated,  _breathe, breathe,_ he told himself repeatedly, chest heaving as he tried to get some air back into his lungs. Then he met those eyes, that fucking burning storm and Eren didn't know what he'd done to deserve it.

"Still conflicted, Yeager?" The way it rolled off of his tongue sounded a lot worse than what a thousand insults could produce. There was a mocking pat on his chest before Levi lifted himself to his feet, Eren quickly covering his mouth lest he screamed in front of the last person he wanted to look weak in front of. It hurt, so fucking much, even worse than the first time. It was bleeding, too-pretty badly, but nothing hurt more than his pride at that moment.

-

Erwin cancelled the whole skill evaluation field day or whatnot thing because even though Eren refused to back down, his back was in no good shape and suddenly he was in bed again, just slightly more confused, depressed, emotionally scarred and frustrated than usual.

His position was so unbalanced. When under the governor's gaze, he felt even beneath a slave, but everyone else...their treatment was so different. He couldn't keep his thoughts to himself when Petra came in with lunch, again, hospitality at it's finest.

"Um, Petra?"

"Yes?"

"What was I bought for, really?'

"Eren." She sighed a little."Stop asking that question. When the time comes, you'll know."

"That's not..." He balled his hand into an angry fist at his side.

"Not fair at all, I know. But you're lucky, Eren. If you take a harder look around this castle, you'll realize just how much."

Eren couldn't make sense of that gentle sadness that overtook her voice every now and then, and hoped he'd find an answer to it soon."I kind of have to overlook that when I have someone like the governor breathing down my neck."

A bitter smile graced her lips, and she murmured more to herself,"At least he pays attention to you." 

What?

"Now eat up and rest, we don't want you dying on us yet. I'll come back in an hour with Hanji to check up on your wounds."

Eren blinked at her back as she picked up the empty tray and walked with her eyes on the floor, pretty strands of ginger hair swaying from underneath her headpiece. She looked fit to be royalty, more than anything, he idly mused.

-

The castle was strangely quiet and gave off an uncomfortable vibe of empty, and it didn't help that Eren was stuck in this huge, plush room all alone. He could never sit in one place-always hunting or scavenging for wood or at least, stealthily chasing some wild animal until Mikasa found him and pulled him from the ear back home.

And sometimes he'd bring Armin along, too, who always gave them away with his screams and he'd have to sprint back and laugh his lungs out at the same time-a fond and homesick smile found it's way on his face as he curled up a bit more around himself and blinked down at the foot of his bed.

_No matter where you go, where you try to run, you're never going to escape._

Hanji's words left a bitter taste in his mouth and made his heart clench, and suddenly, he was jumping out of bed and out through the-unlocked door, really? And ambling around the castle with challenging stealth.

He wasn't going to sit around all day and let himself be toyed with.

The courtyard was his biggest barrier, clustered with people and slaves as many of the jobs that included cooking, laundry and cattle keeping happened there. He found a back door that led out into the courtyard, pretty hidden but useless with what was ahead, and he leaned on the door frame as he stared fixedly into the bustling outdoors.

"Out for a stroll already, Yeager?"

His skin bristled at that voice and his head whipped around to find none other than the bane of his existence standing behind him-alone for once.

"I got...bored." He murmured half-heartedly.

"Looks like you're waiting for a chance to run. Do I have to shackle you to your bed now, too?"

"No." Eren's voice held a small plea-and he realized ever since their encounter in the atrium something had died on him a little on the inside. A bit of his rebellion, maybe.

"Well then." He raised an eyebrow and his attention drifted back to whatever he was doing-walking somewhere or whatever, and Eren was feeling uncomfortable at the amount of space he was getting. For a slave, at least.

The man still preferred a sleeveless tunic, and Eren wondered why when everyone else was used to staying shirtless.

"Can I talk to you?" Shit, that came out wrong. Too vulnerable and hesitant. 

"That's what you're doing now."

"My position is ambiguous. What am I? A slave, or...?"

"You keep your mouth and curiosity controlled, then maybe you'll find out soon. For now, your job is to learn some manners." He gave him a pointed and displeased once over, Eren gritting his teeth.

"I didn't do anything to deserve this much scorn."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow, taking a step towards him. Eren visibly tensed."And that hateful look in your eyes is not enough? You're just like the rest of your kind."

"What are you even-" _Don't step back, don't step back._

"You're young, whatever seed of blood lust that grows in your family might have not sprouted yet, or planted in you, for that matter." There was an underlying tone of something Eren absolutely could not fathom, but it was something along the lines of restrained rage.

He couldn't help pressing his back against the wall when the man had gotten closer, doing it on extinct."But you're like a wolf. You can be trained to restrain for a short amount of time, but you can't help you're own instinct. You'll snap soon. So very soon."

Eren swallowed thickly, his words digging deep into his mind.

"You can't be trusted. Whether you're paying for your family's sins or not, can't be determined now. But."

A corner of his lips tugged back in a cold smirk."I'll be waiting for you to break, your resolve to crumble."

"And I'll kill you with more than enough reason."

Eren's eyes widened a fraction, everything he said- it was like a switch.

_It's not real-it can't be real._

A bigger part of him was absorbing and mulling his words over, like he knew it all before and was waiting for someone to remind him.

"You're lying." He heard himself say, more like in denial."My family would never-has never hurt anyone. Blood lust? You're insane."

"I watched Carla Jaeger snap my mother's neck single-handedly." There it was-his restraint broke loose, and the storm was billowing in his eyes again."To protect that little boy in her arms."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I didn't think I'd enjoy writing about Jerk!Levi this much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you can see much love for Petra going on in this fic.

Eren toned it down a lot more than he would've liked after that disgruntling incident, but he couldn't find himself to start another fiery arc of rebellion when he couldn't even seem to swallow everything Levi told him down.

Every time his sharp words echoed in Eren's mind, his mother's face would appear before him, too, her soft eyes, her tender smile. He wasn't sure if he should beat himself over even contemplating Levi's words or feeling alarmed over having such a truth concealed from him.

The latter won, apparently, and he found himself mulling it over much more than he'd like to admit. A long span of time passed in trepidation and still murky in regards to the governor's intentions. But he supposed the fact that he was getting enough time to learn the land's custom's and ways in addition to fighting skills was good enough of a distraction for the time being. And it also gave him time to get closer to those always with him and the occupants of the castle. Petra became the person he bitched and whined to because she had a motherly side to her, and also the one he expressed himself to openly because she was a great listener. Hanji turned out to be a lot more fun than his first impression told, she was his partner in crime and the one he openly poked fun at because she was good natured like that. She was the closest to a friend he had, despite their age difference.

Erwin, he still whole heartedly respected and took his advice gravely, and he was the person Eren listened to the most due to said respect. Sometimes he spoiled Eren and gave him a lot more space than he should, but it usually doesn't backfire that _badly._

Well, usually.

Erwin learned this the hard way when he let Eren wander around the castle without any restraint, and Eren finally found someone else to make trouble out of in the stables.

He found them locked in a serious fist fight out in the court yard, Eren and the stable boy, that is, and it took a lot more than it should to break them up. That was the day Eren met his second bane-of-existence, none other than that asshole Jean Kirstein. 

The commander had more important matters to deal with, really, something along the lines of Egypt's entire army, but Eren was a tough challenge to that name.

"I can't believe that a child on his own is more of a handful than an entire army. Crazy, I tell you." Erwin said in exasperation as he sat in front of a battered and still fuming Eren, who angrily held a cloth to his cheek.

"I'm not a _kid_." He snapped.

"Oh? And just how old are you?"

"Eighteen years." The brunet's eyes drifted to the side and he added as an afterthought,"And a slap."

Erwin chuckled at the accusatory glare Eren threw his way."You deserved that one."

"But your hand is so _heavy_." 

"Stay out of trouble, alright? You were doing so good before."

Eren blew up his cheeks in a childish gesture when Erwin ruffled his hair as he got up to leave. But he still didn't completely dismiss his words, because a certain fear of having to deal with the governor again had made him be an extra goody-goody for a while. Be good, effectively avoid the governor's path.

But he wondered about him a lot, more so openly one afternoon.

"Hey, Pet?" He murmured in thought as he watched her fold the clothes he carelessly discarded on the floor."How old is angry shorty?"

" _Eren_." She chided."Quit calling him that."

"Meh." He shrugged.

"Twenty six."

"Guy's too big for his body." He was staring up at the ceiling aimlessly, hands folded behind his head as he remained lying on his bed. Petra took him by surprise when a tunic hit him in the face.

"Make yourself useful."

Eren sat up, the material laying forgotten in his lap."Is he married?"

"No, actually."

_"What?"_

Petra's lips tugged back in amusement."I know, you'd think a charming one like him would have a few."

"No, that's not-" Eren felt his cheeks heat up a little for some reason."I meant kids. Who's taking the crown after him?"

"You ask too much questions." Her eyes found the floor again, Eren identifying it as a gesture of aversion. She was hiding something from him.

"Eh, whatever. I wouldn't want his kids to prolong his shitty rule anyway."

Petra tossed a sandal at him this time, and it hurt like a bitch."I swear to Amun, Eren. He's your master, address him properly."

"Geez, I'm sorry." A pause."Who's Amun?"

Petra stared at him like he just declared himself as an otherworldly being."You're joking, right?"

"Swear to Amun I ain't," He quipped with a grin. The strawberry blond didn't reciprocate it, though, and suddenly he felt uneasy.

She lowered her hands to her lap and stared at him with a locked jaw, almost as if in worry."He's the greatest one of all, the king of gods."

Eren just quirked his upper lip to the side, in obvious carelessness and a little of mockery."So?"

"You don't believe in our religion, do you?"

"Can't really believe in what I don't know."

"Shit. This is horrible."

Eren gulped, eyes watching her warily as he leaned his weight back and against his arms."What?"

"Don't tell anyone." She was at her feet, padding over to him with the gravest of expressions."Go along with it. Pray at the temple if you're asked to, don't ever deny you're affinity."

"Why? But I'm-"

" _Eren._ If you don't want this lifestyle to be ruined, then listen to me, alright? His...His highness will certainly-" She halted, snapping out of her daze.

"His highness will _what_?"

"If-if you think being from Caanan puts you at risk, then this...you're life's on the line."

" _Why_?"

"Just listen to me, alright? Please, Eren."

"Does it really matter to you that much?"

"This isn't just me...you'll know why when the time comes, alright? For now, don't tell anyone."

Eren mulled this over."Not even Erwin?"

She sighed, sweeping her skirt out of the way as she took a seat beside him."The commander's a great man, really...his morals and humanitarian instincts are always a priority. But the one thing he can't do, his one flaw, is disobey an order."

It clicked in Eren's mind.

"If he's asked to kill, he does without question. If, one day he's asked to expose your nature, then be sure he wouldn't lie. He's very loyal."

"But that's not a flaw." Eren ventured.

She gave him a sad smile."Sometimes, we need someone to stand up, to express a different opinion than the one and only. I'm glad you could make it here, Eren. Although, I do worry over your impulsive tendencies."

"Psh." Eren waved her off in slight embarrassment."Not like anyone's going to listen to me blow off steam. Especially angry shorty."

He was cuffed upside the head.

"His highness."

"Angry shorty." He retorted, albeit meekly.

Petra grabbed his ear and twisted it just right, like she knew how to make it hurt. 

"Ow,ow,ow, fuck-"

"His highness." She repeated.

"Ugh, okay-His splendid highness."

"No."

"His highness! Fuckkkk." She let him go and he sprang to his feet.

"A.k.a forever pissed and short!" He quickly gushed by the door before sprinting out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Levi in this chapter, darn.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't like dirty liars."

Nearly six months had passed, and it was all steady and quiet, but not necessarily calm. Eren had done a good job busying himself and avoiding the governor, ironically enough with the marks on his back, but something told him Levi was doing his own part in avoidance, too.

Six months. And Eren had been pampered with no limitations. Six months, and his master hadn't summoned him once, hadn't found the slightest use for him, other than vigorous training and a certain reputation for his unintentional charm.

Six months, and Eren had nearly forgotten about home. About running away, about revenge. But he couldn't anymore, it was impossible. To betray Erwin, Petra, Hanji. But most of all, nd what he wouldn't admit, was that he was too afraid to attempt anything. He was sure the governor slept with one eye open or something.

"Eren?"

Then the moment he'd dreaded drew very near. Petra's voice was muffled behind the door, and he paused wrapping the handle of his sword to answer.

"His highness has summoned you."

It dropped out of his hands and he cringed, a loud clatter echoing in the large room.

"Are you alright?"

He quickly swallowed the panic in his eyes and opened the door, brushing passed her."I'm fine. Where should I go?"

"His headquarters, of course."

He waited until she'd turned around to swallow and run both hands through his hair. Then he strode over to the area he'd been forbidden from for so long, stride unwavering, heart unsteady.

-

"Sir." He was sure to began, although still a curt greeting to his position. He stepped passed the large doors to an elegant foyer, with plush drapery and seating. His eyes cautiously took everything in, noting how the governor had opted to stand in front of the window instead.

"You..wanted to see me?" He said timidly after a while, when nothing but heavy silence lingered in the air.

"Eren." His tone was mockingly fond, and made Eren bristle. He had to mentally train himself to not get angry."It has been a long while, hasn't it?"

"It has." Eren didn't know where he found the sudden courage to blurt a triumphant,"And my stability is fully intact."

The raven said nothing, and when Eren chanced a glance up at his back, saw his shoulders shaking slightly. He was laughing, simpering. Utterly mirthless.

"How simply...adorable. You've been keeping track of your stability?" He tilted his head back, the darkening dusk casting shadows on his face that both gave an eerie and elegant feel to his features. One thing was sure; he was born to be royalty, except a mighty mean one at that.

Eren felt uncomfortable and out of place suddenly.

"Anyways." He turned around and leaned against the window sill, swift, graceful, effortless. Eren almost felt envious. Almost."I have a few direct questions for you. You answer me with all due honesty, and there will be no need to break this silly avoidance game of ours."

Eren didn't say anything.

"You lie to me, and I will not hesitate to force it out of you. I do certainly believe that pain is an effective tool of discipline. And trust me, I _know_ a filthy liar the moment he so much as opens his mouth." He gave Eren a demeaning look, almost accusatory, and the said boy resisted a snarl. And to think, you? You're like an open book. Even you yourself don't realize how much you give away with your body language."

Eren's eyes darted over the intricate rug in contemplation, suddenly feeling self conscious.

"Am I clear, Jaeger?"

"Yes." A pause."Sir."

"Very well, then." he paced the room once, slowly, thoughtfully."Has word reached you? Of the so called myth that floats around the palace walls?"

Eren blinked."It hasn't."

"Bah. Hanji couldn't even spare me the trouble of story telling." He huffed, a bit dramatically."Ever since the crown has been passed down on me at a young age, a certain, crucial family member of the royals has gone missing. For a very long time. And up until this day." He brushed back his bangs, idly staring along the artistic paintings along the walls.

"She disappeared the day the previous Governor's family was entirely massacred, save for the heir." He sighed in boredom, as if unwilling to refer to himself directly."The most common opinion is that she's dead, had been killed. But no traces of her body was ever found. Burnt, buried, or washed up along a shore."

"I, on the other hand, most certainly believe she is alive."

Eren's curiosity was piqued, and he listened intently.

"She disappeared the day those filthy Caananites set foot in this castle." He spat out, and Eren flinched, shut his eyes tightly and willed himself to remain unprovoked.

"Eight years younger than me, and only a small child when she'd gone missing, I was certain she must have been kidnapped."

"What...is she to you?" Eren blurted out before he could stop himself, surprisingly not getting the horrid reaction he'd imagined.

"My little sister." He threw in almost casually, then set his gaze back on the brunet."And I am most certain that you have some sort of tie to her."

Eren was baffled."How could I possibly-?"

"Her name is Mikasa Ackerman."

Eren felt like he was punched in the gut, the wind suddenly knocking out of him. He stared at Levi with doe wide eyes,found that he'd expected just that much of a reaction from him.

"You know her." Levi suddenly said, eyes slightly widening, voice lacking any doubt.

"I don't!" Eren frantically and defensively shot back, throat parching with the horrid thought and it's possibilities. 

This time, the wind was very much physically knocked out of him, and suddenly he was slammed against the wall by a force around his neck.

"What did I tell you, Eren?" Levi's voice had dropped low, just above a whisper, and made it that much more threatening and eerie. Eren gazed down with a grimace, defiantly, with scorn."I don't like dirty liars."

He didn't say anything, and his wind pipe was suddenly grasped achingly harder. He winced, gasped for breath, told himself to not fight back.

"Where is she?" He practically hissed against his skin, and Eren resisted the tears welling up in his eyes.

"She's not..." _Breathe._ "She's _not_ your sister."

His eyebrow twitched, almost as if in question,  and Eren knew he was pushing it. With his power, he could kill him and send his body on a platter to his family without having to answer to no one. But his pride hurt at that moment more than anything.

"Family...Isn't..." _He couldn't breathe._ "Isn't.. _blood_." He spat out with just as much scorn Levi had offered."It's...It's..."

 _Don't say it. Say it. Don't say it._ "It's a type of love...the likes of you could _never_ fathom."

And just like that, he was released. He slid down the wall, breathed precious lungfuls and resisted the blackness around his vision.

His hair was held painfully suddenly, forcefully yanking his head up.

"You will regret this." He hissed, and Eren was baffled to see his words hadn't moved him a single bit."You're right. It is something indeed, meaningless and unfathomable. Beneath me, if you'd like to put it that way."

Eren grimaced, but didn't let his gaze waver.

"I'll kill her. In front of you. I'll kill them _all_. Saving the best for the last. That _bitch_ Carla." He spat out like it was something sour in his mouth, let his hair go, and whipped back around to pace the room.

Eren wiped at something warm from his nose with the back of his hand, returning with a dark crimson stain he couldn't care less about. Then, for the time in six months, he lets his tears spill free, let everything he'd contained for that long time go when he promised he wouldn't with that fucker's presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry WHY AM I PUTTING IN SO MANY PLOT TWISTS AT ONCE


	6. Chapter 6

Eren couldn't stop crying. And he hated himself for it.

Instead of strolling out of the room unfazed, unaffected, a _winner_ , he couldn't move away from that corner, and couldn't stop the flow of tears and childish, choked sobs. He could've sworn Levi didn't kick him out or make an attempt to remove himself from the foyer only for the pleasure of hearing him suffer. 

He quit pacing, stood with his back to the younger and didn't say a single word. Eren simply couldn't get a grasp of himself anymore. 

A long stretch of a tense time ensued the same way, it might have been hours or only minutes for all Eren knew. But it was getting awfully dark out and Eren was sporting a major headache.

"Stop it." He wasn't sure if he heard that right, and Levi continued as if answering the unspoken question Eren offered."Stop crying."

His mind reasoned something for only a split second, but that ugly, burning and vigorous emotion within him quickly lashed back at whatever he was reasoning. _No. Can't expect that from him._

He pulled himself up and the world spun, he stopped for only a moment to wipe another mass of thick blood from underneath his nose and then silently left the room. _You lost._ He inwardly declared. _You fucking wimp._

But something told him it wasn't wasted, something gnawed at the back of his mind again and again, the tone in Levi's voice when he murmured that last thing. _Guilt_. He felt guilty.

Eren shook himself out of it. _No fucking way._

-

Petra had retreated for the night, and part of Eren was glad she wouldn't see him in his worst state. She had a soft spot for him, but also a certain level of respect and admiration he still couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve. He didn't want her to think of him otherwise, and to see him this weak ( _again_ ) would be another hard blow to his pride. 

But he wasn't spared, because he bumped into Hanji in the empty hallways. 

"Oh, hey Er-" She stopped, her grin faltered, and she leaned in closer and stared at him in scrutiny. It was too dark to see anything, but still, she might have figured out the blood part.

"I'm okay." He said with an empty laugh, but his voice was raspy still. She lightly held him by the wrist and led him back to his room wordlessly.

Hanji demanded and explanation, and Eren inwardly cringed."It was dark. I hit a wall."

She didn't say anything, just continued inspecting his nose by the small flickers of fire."It's not broken."

"Yeah, well..."

She sighed."Dammit Levi."

Eren blinked at her in stunned question, and she just shrugged."Your throat's bruised like hell. Those marks aren't going off for a while."

Eren subconsciously ran his hand up his throat, nearly grimacing with the memory.

"I think the pressure caused some of your sensitive nose vessels to pop. No biggie."

That didn't make it any better. Or any sense, for that matter. 

The brunette didn't say anything after that, only made herself more comfortable beside him and let him lose himself in thought."Think you could tell me what happened?"

Eren took a moment to think that over. In the end he rambled off about everything happening between them in one angry explosion. 

"No way." Hanji's eyes were glinting maniacally."The lost Ackerman? Shit, Eren."

"She's _my_ sister." He whined more childishly than he'd like, crossing his arms over his chest."Who the fuck does he think he is? Do you even know what she'll do to him if she sees him? She'll kick his ass into tomorrow, that's what."

Hanji giggled."I wouldn't be surprised. They're all such mean ass snobs."

"You would know."

She made a dramatic show of sighing forlornly."No one cares about that one distant cousin."

"Hey, at least you get to bother him without having your head on the line."

"True."

Eren stared at his toes, feeling a lot of his previous emotions alleviate a little. Not necessarily disappear, just hide for a while."Something...weird sort of happened. He said something."

"Levi?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

Eren paused a little."I don't know, he just...sounded guilty."

She hummed in thought."You cried, didn't you?"

"Wha-?" Eren sometimes was baffled by her great mind reading skills. He didn't like admitting to _that_. 

"It's strange. He's so cold, and I've seen him at his most merciless of states. Sometimes I feel repulsed because of his lack of sympathy." She murmured."But I've seen him draw back his most strict order for a child. He can't, it's beyond his control. He can't see a child cry and remain unsympathetic."

Eren didn't know what to say to that.

"I shouldn't have said that." She snickered."He'd kill me if he knew I told you. It's the one thing you could always use against him."

"That is so fucking weird."

"He is a bit eccentric."

"This coming from you?"

She ruffled his hair with painful strength. Goddamn, these Egyptian women. 

"That doesn't make him any better." Eren said firmly after a while.

"True. I think it just means he has it in him to be better, you know? But he's going against his nature."

That jumbled up Eren's mind even more."Fuck him."

Hanji snickered nervously. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

"They were sent out."

Eren wasn't sure if the guy was even talking to him at first, but realized that there wasn't anyone else he _could_ be talking to. He lazily kicked his feet against the cool pebbled ground of the stream, sighing at the contrast of it to the rest of his burning body. It was ungodly hot out, and he was just sitting here in the open sun with only the flimsy leaves of a palm tree for protection, currently being babysitted by a guy that was honestly too serious for his own good. The one time the Commander decides to take him outside of the castle to oversee some amateur patrolling, he gets called in for an emergency. Come to think of it, he _always_ has a bunch of emergencies to tend to. Guess it sucks being super important.

Eren wanted to throw himself into the knee deep water of the stream and cool off, but Gunther scolded him for thinking about ruining their nearest source of water, since the stream wasn't big enough to carry off wastes. Apparently.

"Who?" Eren finally answered the lingering question, disinterested. 

"Soldiers."

"You're being really vague." Eren grumbled with a hint of bratiness that everyone seemed to be getting used to, because despite his so called enslavement, he _was_ spoiled a bit beyond proper. 

"They were sent to Caanan."

Eren froze."Wh...what are they doing there?"

"I think you know better."

His body moved on it's own. He jumped up, Gunther quickly followed, fearing he was running off somewhere he wasn't supposed to. But he wasn't. He wasn't sure where he was running _himself._

He wanted to find the Governor. He wanted to scream at him until he lost voice, wanted to get through to his stubborn head so badly. But most of all, he just wanted to fucking _kill_ him. 

_I'll kill them._

Eren grimaced angrily, feet pummeling against the hot sand carelessly.

_And I kill you. I'll get even._

But he couldn't. He knew that more than anyone else.

Was it just him, or was the palace awfully more crowded and buzzing that afternoon? He took a moment to steady his breathing, pushed passed through the servants and searched the place with his eyes. He wanted to do something, _anything_ , to get his fuming mind occupied. The full capacity of Gunther's words hadn't settled in yet, and all he could feel right now was a frantic pump of adrenaline and a desire to scream in fury.

He glimpsed a sliver of golden orange and quickly rushed to give Petra's shoulder a tap. She turned around quizzically, loaded basket of linen in her hands."There you are." she paused, eyes scanning him over."What is it?"

"What's happening?" He said as he bent over to rest his hands against his knees and breath. Gunther then caught up with him, but didn't interfere.

"It's going to be a big week. We're preparing early, just to make sure everything goes according to plan."

"What are you even talking about?"

She smiled in fond exasperation at his cluelessness."The welcome of Princess Miritaten and her adoptive family."

"Who and what now?" Eren's mind was absolutely fucked.

"The governor's missing sister. She's been found, finally."

Eren leaned up and blinked at her in disturbed confusion. It was Mikasa. He said it himself. Unless...

"Wait, is that why I've been seeing 'Rivaille' written everywhere instead of Levi?"

"That's his proper given name. But it's mostly formal, his highness is called Levi for ease of pronunciation." Petra confirmed.

Miritaten. Mikasa.

They were welcoming the princess and her family. Suddenly he wasn't in the palace courtyard, everyone became a blur and then absolutely nothing. He was stuck. Stuck neck deep in a vivid flash of memories.

She was always better than him. She learned how to hunt years before him, perfected it not short after. She had a frightening talent of survival, both socially and physically. Everyone was drawn in to her. To her elegant features, the noble lift of her chin, to her maturity and unquestioned question for simple justice. To the grace in which she carried herself.

She was a true born princess all along. And no one even questioned it. Maybe because whenever Eren asked about her real parents, Grisha would stiffen and his mother would change the subject with a sweet smile. Maybe because it seemed utterly far fetched and there was absolutely nothing to stir up such inquires of the mind.

Mikasa was his sister. Despite it all, she was _his_ sister. Maybe she was as pale as him, had the same darkness of his hair. But the way she would jump before him in blind impulse even if she smelled a hint of danger, the softness in her eyes that her lips could never express, how she cared about him like was two, not seventeen. _That_ , was certainly not a trait of the royal family.

She loved him unconditionally for the bratty brother he was, and Eren really never appreciated her enough. His heart hurt suddenly, and he felt a twinge of disappointment in himself, for not realizing this until it reached this extent. When the scent of death drew near. 

Levi was drawing them into the spider's web, perfectly sugar coating his public image and power. Eren was more than sure they would take the bait after they figured out his whereabouts.

"Are you alright? Eren?"

He shut his eyes and steadied his breathing. Petra's cold hand pressed against his forehead."....He's been in the sun for too long."

He was going to lose them again.


	8. Chapter 8

For the second time in his life, Eren was so emotionally exhausted and anxious that he couldn't do anything but stand still with his head down and work at keeping his breathing steady. The crowd sickened him, the platform on which he was standing, and the person he was standing beside repulsed him. He was in fine clothing again, the shoulder piece dug into the skin of his shoulders, and he was suffocating, suffocating.

The governor shifted his weight onto another fine armrest, the ease and fluidity of his actions in addition to the utterly pleased glint in his eyes making Eren's stomach twist unpleasantly. The crowd talked, whispered, low and expectant murmurs blurring into a single irksome drone. The plush crimson carpet that extended all throughout the walkway to the throne room was surrounded and fully packed by the noble, the governor's trusted around his throne. Eren knew he was put in such proximity just to spite him. So in turn he worked on _not_ being spiteful.

The murmurs died down gradually when the royal messenger entered, bowing in respect."The Princess has arrived."

Eren felt a pang of nerves hit him in the chest. He glimpsed Levi giving him a dismissive wave. The messenger left, and Eren stared at a specific on the ground and didn't dare lift his gaze up yet. 

A moment passed, and the murmurs began all over again. Eren's heart was becoming painfully erratic by then. Those were observatory murmurs, small gasps, the nearly soundless padding of several feet drowned out by the crowd. 

He swallowed nervously and chanced a fleeting glance up, only to return his gaze back promptly. The three of them stood there, and it was suddenly hard for Eren to believe that they really _were_ there. Mikasa stood in front, so different, yet the exact same. Her hair no longer flowed around her shoulders, but went just beneath her chin, adding a strange touch of maturity to her features. She had his red scarf wrapped around her neck, and it hadn't taken her a second to find him in the crowd. It was nearly a crushing warmth to see her soft and worrisome gaze fixed on him again, like he was the only thing that mattered in this entire palace and it's occupants.

He dropped his head again, breathed through his nose and forced down the sob that threatened to escape.

 _Cut your hair. It gets in the way._ It was one of the last few things he told her that night they'd returned home from the wild. It was so trivial, but it suddenly hurt the most.

He halted in his tracks when a weight was suddenly thrown around him, and his head was buried in the warmth of her neck. 

The crowd went dead silent.

Eren couldn't care less. All he could seem to focus on was the welcoming smell of home, mingling all together in one scent. He'd missed it so much. He breathed, nearly let himself give in to security, but then he noticed the governor's whitening knuckles out of the corner of his eye and the temperature dropped down significantly.

"Welcome back." Levi said with an underlying hint of mockery."Princess."

Mikasa took a step back from Eren and he panicked. She gave Levi a once over, head held high, and then returned to fix him with a cold glare. 

"Shall we leave?"

If the crowd had went silent before, then now sound itself seemed to cease. 

Eren wasn't sure if he'd heard her right, watching her hold her ground as she gazed dauntlessly into the governor's eyes. Eren knew how to read him by now. He was beyond furious, but hid it well.

"Leave?" He tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowing in question."Where to?"

She grabbed Eren's hand."Home."

His eyes flickered around, a corner of his lips twitching ever so slightly. His fingers drummed against the armrest as he ground his teeth together and took a deep breath. Then he huffed, producing a mixture between a grin and a grimace."Home." He parroted, tone frightening. Then he gave the crowd on either side a dismissive flick of the wrist, and they filed out after a reluctant second. Levi watched them all leave with his chin propped on a fist, eyes practically screaming murder. When there was no one but a few such as the commander and messenger present, he stood up and paced the platform leisurely. But not before Eren saw the fleeting gaze he shot Carla, so small but dangerous.

"Erd." He said finally, and the messenger straightened."Would you be so kind as to tell us what's become of this... _home_?"

"It has been burned down at your request shortly after we departed to Memphis, your highness."

"Mm." He nodded, and Eren tasted a metallic rust and saw red, but she was standing right in front of him and her grip on his hand was unrelenting. If he were alone, then something he'd regret a thousand times over was bound to happen.

"From now on," he continued, unfazed." _This_ is home. As the youngest of the royal family, you're expected to do your duty and wait until it is your turn. After all, I am not lasting forever."

Mikasa was quiet. But Eren knew, knew too well, her explosion was going to be deadly.

Carla suddenly let out a strangled sob, covering her mouth with her hand as her first few tears fell. 

"What is it?" Levi asked, eyebrows drawn in together in feigned concern.

She cried harder, and it looked like he couldn't be anymore satisfied."It hurts, doesn't it?" His voice shook, for a fleeting second, and it seemed he was holding back with all his strength."It fucking  _hurts_." He spat through clenched teeth."Don't you think?"

She fell to her knees, and he breathed, as if he hadn't breathed in so long and seeing her like this made him breathe again.

And before Eren could hold her back, Mikasa had knocked him down without warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PFFFFT what is this??? My heart hurts, that was too intense. Imma go do my homework now, good bye :)


	9. Chapter 9

She was so swift, Levi barely had time to react. There was only the sound of him hitting the floor and the sting of her fist against his jaw. The sight was so sickeningly satisfying to Eren, but he simply couldn't help it.

"Guards!" Someone else screamed, and the thumping of feet echoed in the room. By the time they'd reached her, she'd already done a number on him.

He sat up, fixed her with a glare as she angrily tried to free herself from the iron grasps around her."Throw them in the dungeon. All of them."

One of the guards simply stared at him in bewilderment, stuttering a little."But, y-your highness, she's-"

"I don't give a _fuck_. Do it before I throw you with her in there myself." He hissed, and the guard moved mechanically, ordering the other guards to grab Carla and Grisha. 

"Take him, too." 

Eren halted in his tracks, eyes flickering to the governor when he realized he was talking about him.

"W-what?" The guard was awfully disoriented.

Levi strode over to him and lifted him up the front of his shirt."What's wrong with you today? Can't take an order?" He then released him gruffly and strode back to the front."Take him."

They moved, albeit reluctantly, and suddenly Eren felt his throat go dry as they neared him.

A guard grabbed him by the arm, took off some rope from his sash, and ordered him to put front his wrists.

"Stop."

Eren paused, eyes roaming around only to land on the commander, who's expression didn't let on to anything. He hadn't spoken a single word since the beginning."You cannot take the boy."

" _Take him_." Levi gritted."Now."

Erwin took a step forward, the guards freezing, conflicted."Do that and you defy the Pharaoh's strict orders."

A look of something like horror passed over their faces, and the guard handling Eren stepped back from him sheepishly. Eren beared a look of nervous confusion, pleadingly gazing at the commander for answers. He didn't meet his gaze.

Levi, to his surprise, didn't retort at this.

Eren had almost forgot of the almighty power of the Pharaoh. Hell, he'd even forgotten he'd _existed_. Yet this great person has ordered them too...?

"Eren." The commander spoke, less harsh.

He straightened up.

"Come with me."

Eren followed, bristling as he brushed passed the governor. He was shocked to realize he made it out of there in one piece. 

-

"I don't get it!" Eren nearly yelled, springing to his feet."First you take me in as a slave, then you treat me like fucking royalty, and now? The _Pharaoh_? Even realizes I exist, let alone forbidden them from _hurting_ me? What the fuck is going on?"

Erwin's expression was stone, while Petra rung her hands together and modestly stood by such an important figure. Then Erwin sighed and crossed his arms over his chest."We would've preferred to keep this from you a little longer, but it really can't be helped anymore."

"Just spit it out already." Eren was exasperated.

"You do know the governor hasn't married nor is willing to do so."

"Yeah, okay?"

"Which in turn means, he isn't willing to make children."

"Okay." Eren grumbled impatiently.

"And so, the Pharaoh had ordered him to train a child under his care to fit this position."

"O-" Eren was about to grumble again, but he stopped when it hit him.

"Those scars on your back? They match the governor's. And the one before him. You were destined for this the moment I bought you. Despite the governor's disapproval of you."

Eren glanced from one to the other, utterly baffled, and Petra guiltily avoided his gaze. Suddenly he couldn't breathe.

"You _are_ royalty. The heir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lordy WHEN WILL I STOP PLOT TWISTING???


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the chapter everyone's been waiting for. But I don't think you were expecting this Eren to come out, now, were you?
> 
> (so sorry for being the tardiest updater on the face of earth)

Three. Three points.

His family was dead either way. There wasn't a single sliver of hope for his life to return the way it was, ever. His position was mind blowing, slave to Governor.

And the last, that might have made him lose a bit of his stability. Levi, under his power. Under _his_ power. His complete and merciless power. It was the one win, the ultimate situation he hadn't even dreamed of but here it was-on a fucking golden platter.

"It's time, master."

It ripped a chuckle out of him when he heard those words, staring into the darkness of his room. It turned into a breathless cackle, and he fell back on his bed, chest heaving. He replaced it with an aching grin as his lips pulled around the words,"You fucking _bet_ I am."

He felt, rather than saw, Petra stiffen.

-

They all whispered, whispered and stared and glowered and pointed and accused, but Eren was unfazed, high on his dreams, high on his motives. He sculpted his face into the most arrogant and serious expression he could muster, made himself fit in. It takes a wolf to live among wolves, isn't that right, Levi?

_Maybe I had to be a wolf, in the end._

"He's a foreigner!" They hissed, bewildered."And he takes the crown?"

What makes the victory all the sweeter. 

"Look at him. A child, what were they thinking?" Another murmured, and Eren resisted a scoff.

"Don't forget, Rivaille was crowned at only sixteen. And this one's his practical protege. Just look at that glint in his eyes, it's no different."

This, brought a hint of a grimace to Eren's face, and a wound to his mindset. No different?

No different.

He swallowed. _I'm not like him. I never will be._

Yet here he was, rewriting history. He nearly snarled. What the fuck was he doing?

"He passed it down to the right one. His reign doesn't seem to be over."

Shut the _fuck_ up. Eren unintentionally sent a sharp glare the man's way, and his eyes widened and he instantly sealed his lips. He nearly laughed. Power, a hilarious concept.

"The Pharaoh never was fond of Rivaille from the beginning. I could only expect this end for him."

Eren restrained another laugh. If they thought that was the end, then they were _so_ wrong. It was only the beginning. It was his day today, he didn't want to hear this Levi bullshit. 

The Pharaoh stepped up, the crowd went silent, and the ceremony began.

-

He saw something in the Commander's eyes, his other subordinates, something different, like regret, disappointment. He brushed it off.

But there was only bewilderment when he made his request after the coronation. 

"Your highness, I would like to keep Rivaille in my vicinity after this-although I do now it is time for him to step back and retire, such a man who took the place of my father could only guide me through his experience and the foreign position I have taken." It came out much better then he'd expected, and he nearly smiled to himself when he lifted his eyes to meet Levi's, dark and slightly startled.

"My boy, you present a challenging request."

"It is nothing but a request, your majesty, as you said, and I can only hope for him to accept without feeling forced. And if not, then I will not object." It was hard to restrain a laugh, but he did, because all he wanted to do right now was drag Levi back with him by the hair. But he decided to do this tactically-be a goody two shoes and get his reward.

"Ah, Levi, the child is practically begging you-what is wrong with that cold face of yours?"

"I have no obligation to do as he pathetically wishes."

Eren nearly grimaced, but reminded himself that there was no need for him to feel injured anymore.

"You very much do. He has lost his family."

"I by no means have such a thought," Eren interjects before he realizes."He will not replace my family." _He won't even replace the scum on my sandals._ "But I definitely find a certain comfort in his presence." 

Eren meets his gaze again, blinks at him innocently as his lips curve into a soft smile. He fucking loves the dread in the lock of his jaw, the frustration in his eyes, the _fear_ in his color.

 _Have I struck a nerve?_ He thinks mockingly.

"You will stay with him. It is evident the boy needs you."

"Allow me to object, your majesty."

"Levi." He says with a certain tone, and the entire palace seems to go cricket chirp quiet."You will accompany him with no further protest."

Everyone's watching, everyone's waiting, and Eren relishes in that moment of humiliation. Levi composes himself, lifts up his chin and makes his way towards Eren like a predator stalking it's prey. 

Only this time, it's the other way around. Eren muses as he lifts himself up, greeting him with yet again another innocent little smile, brows slightly curved up."Thanks for your consideration."

"It is my utmost pleasure." He replies with venom only Eren could identify.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell me you were expecting Eren to be compassionate and forgiving.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is all figurative, colorful bullshit.

He sat back, moves as languid as some wild cat, golden stiff bangle covered wrists drifting along the armrest and fingers gracefully feeling his possession, his sheer power. The red rug he'd despised so much and glared at for just as much extended before him, narrow and thin and Eren was just about wise enough to know it was slimmer than a single strand of hair, slick and slippery and right now, _he_ was the one gliding along it with clumsy strides.

His feet had yet to cut and bleed.

But they will, soon enough.

Erwin saw it all, saw it in his eyes, saw it in his sudden mania, his unprovoked devotion. He saw it in the flawless cunning before the Pharaoh--how he was able to pull Levi back towards him with gentle fingers that could break much more professionally than caress--and wondered when the boy had turned into such a dangerous beast. If they'd been turning him into this beast all along, if it was always within him and this was his opportunity to break through.

"What are you doing, Eren?" 

"What do you _want_ me to do?"

The Commander fixed him with a gaze--a reprimanding gaze that's affect had simply worn off.

He saw a wounded little boy at that moment, his eyes held a small gaze, and his snarl wasn't ferocious but etched with hurt. Confused and lost hurt.

"He killed my family. He burned down my home." Eren said as steadily as he could."He hated me for everything I _never_ was."

"Look at you now." Erwin's eyes narrowed."I finally see why."

It was like Eren had just been slapped, and his eyes widened a fraction, the creases smoothed from his face. 

Hearing it from Erwin--this respected figure--was completely different.

"Get out." He hissed."I don't want to hear it."

Erwin remained silent for another moment, weighing Eren down with his gaze."You'll lose even more if you don't give it up." He left, and that was just one thing he lost at the moment.

He eased himself with the thought of Levi and what he'd got in store for that bastard.

-

Then there was Petra. Petra who stiffened whenever he so much as brushed passed, who swiftly and cautiously stepped into his room, done her task, and fled wordlessly. Like she would a caged animal.

She didn't exchange a word with him unless asked, and her eyes were always hued with an underlying tone of fear. This was the Petra who not even a week ago, wrung his ear with no remorse at his slightest wrong doing. This was the Petra that made a fuss when he got a scratch, the Petra that hid so much about him to ensure his safety.

And it was fucking enraging to see he act like this.

She stepped in with his breakfast as he washed his face, set it down and fluttered about the room picking up articles of clothing, folding them as neat as possible and putting the ones she knew he didn't like stored away, keeping his lighter and more favoured clothing where he could reach. She arranged his sandals neatly, made his bed, and picked up his water basin as he wiped his palms against his thighs in contemplation.

She was about to leave quick again--but he impulsively grabbed her wrist, she stifled something behind her hand, and trembled in his hold.

It stung, and Eren had the sudden urge to exchange this all for an embrace from her, for a little less of his pride where he could cry about like a fucking wimp.

"Y-yes, your highness." She stammered in a whisper.

"Petra, please." He began, and he didn't know he was this desperate until it leaked into his small and childish tone."Don't do this to me."

"Have I been lacking effort in my duties? Is there something I am not fulfilling for you?" She said in a sudden steady and firm voice."Please do tell me, master, so I should try harder."

"I don't want _any_ of this." He whispered, so pathetic he disgusted himself."I just want--" _I just want to feel warm again._

"This is all I can do."

"What did I do to you? Why are you reacting like this?"

She didn't say anything, but Eren noticed the tremor in her shoulders after a moment. She inhaled sharply, and Eren realized those were the sounds of her crying.

It fell again, strawberry blond, fell silkily around the back of her head. The maid headdress was for anyone but her.

"What else could you do?" she said in a choked murmur."I never thought you'd turn out like this, Eren."

"Goddammit, what do you want me to do, huh? All I hear is your fucking disapproval. Tell me how to fix it!" He seethed, letting go of her wrist. She didn't move away.

"Don't kill him."

Eren blinked, hand falling back at his side.

"Eren, I...you always asked me so much questions. I don't want to answer. But maybe you'll understand if I do." She took a moment to breath, shoulders still tense, back still to Eren."All you really need to know is that...I was supposed to be wed to him years ago."

Eren simply couldn't register the information.

"My father's kingdom and his father's always had an alliance, and I was for him the moment I was born. It was well. There was nothing wrong with him, up until...up until the incident with his family."

"You're a...princess?" Was all he could bring himself to say in awe, mind blown in confusion."What are you...why are you..."

"I love him, Eren. I love him so much." She says, and suddenly nothing else matters--it all makes perfect sense."He didn't, though. He turned cold and I felt for him, I really did--I did everything I could." she said between tears."But he didn't want me."

They were heartbreaking words.

"We had plans before. He was only fifteen but he already told me how many children he wanted, what he was going to name them, where we would travel to see something beyond this barren desert." she took a shaky breath."I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him, as much as he wanted me to. So I decided to at least work here, then I'd...I'd still have some sort of connection to him."

"But you're father--" He exclaimed."How could he accept this?"

She smiled bitterly."He doesn't know."

Eren stood there, struck with utter disbelief.

"I convinced Levi to pretend when he visits--to dress me up at my finest. He went with an excuse of my infertility when the question of children was brought up. It was flawless."

It was all so horrible Eren was having a hard time processing it--but everything suddenly pieced together. It all made sense.

"And it was all because--it was all because of that awful dispute with the Canaanites." It was the first time he'd heard her speak of his origin so harshly, but after having heard what he heard, he wouldn't blame her."Your parents killed his. That's enough for him. For any human being. Don't add fuel to the fire, Eren."

"Am I not human? Hadn't my family been taken away with no justice?"

"Your parents were murderers."

"What of Mikasa?" He hissed, enraged. "Isn't she his flesh and blood? Does he have anything _close_ to a fucking heart?"

"The princess was a victim." She paused."And his heart is full of holes." She picked up the basin again, making her way through his room.

"Levi needs to be put in his place." He says, resolute, despite everything that's been revealed."And I will gladly do just that."

He was sure she heard him.

-

Eren shouldn't be nervous. He shouldn't feel awful at the pit of his stomach, but even the wide and thick leather belt wrapped around his knuckles, fastened by his grip, was nothing close to a comfort as the door creaked awfully when he gave it a push.

He wasn't brave enough, was he?

A strip of light fell onto the darkness of the room, darkened again by his shadow.

 _There is nothing to be afraid of._ He told his racing heart. His sandals echoed around the bare walls, echoing nothing of his under confidence. 

There he was--bound and helpless and--

 _Utterly unfazed._ Eren thought as his eyes narrowed, taking in the figure cuffed to the wall. His head was ducked, black hair silky and beautiful as it fell a certain way, and Eren was thrilled to think of how good it wood be to mat it with blood, to rumple it with his own fingers.

 _He's had enough_. A feeble voice whispered at the back of his head, that made him pause for only a second. _No, he fucking hasn't._

He couldn't tell if he was awake, asleep--alive or dead, couldn't tell how he'd start. _Where_ he'd start.

So in the end he strolled over to him, blinked down on him a moment before crouching before him. He grabbed a fistful of his bangs and jerked his head up--not receiving a single noise of pain or protest. For a moment the look in Levi's eyes scared him--it was the same, the exact fucking same and it wasn't like Eren had him right under his mercy.

He smiled. He smiled because Levi had seen enough of his frustration, his tears, and it's time he saw his fulfillment."I almost forgot about you." He murmured, lips pursing in a slight pout."Petra's a good reminder."

He sighed, let him go, got up again. Paced the room."I wonder where to start."

He heard it, but didn't quite trust his senses, and turned around to see Levis' shoulders shaking. He was laughing.

"What's so funny?" He said conversationally, mentally willing himself not to loose his cool.

"You're so pathetic," he begins, voice oozing confidence and not a single hint of instability."That you don't even have the courtesy to begin with admitting just how much of your sanity you have lost."

"What is sanity when there is power?"

Levi lifts his head up, and Eren could see the captivating grays in his eyes through the dimness in frightening clarity.

Sanity is power.

Levi has his sanity.

He tilts his head back in the slightest, lips physically formulating his words."You snapped, Eren. You snapped."

Eren let the belt loosely unwrap, cracked it once to straighten it. Levi's gaze was unwavering."You're nothing but a blood thirsty wolf. And you've been starved."

When he left the room that night, Levi coughed, the only noise he decided to produce despite everything he did. _He's had enough_. That voice whispered meekly again as he strode through the hallways. Levi knew pain. Levi was made out of pain.

Eren couldn't possibly expect to shake him with a few whips or kicks.

 _You're pathetic_. That voice whispered again, which he might of figured to be slight guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone feel bad for Levi bby yet
> 
> come on he needs some sympathy


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys made me do this.

It was really, really fucking hard to settle to one mindset. To one emotion of _I want to make him beg for mercy,_ and not the doubts of _but maybe it's enough._ Eren thought he could do it with no remorse before, he had enough blood boiling rage, enough repulsing hate. He had enough against Levi.

And he still does.

But he's tired of seeing the exact same scenario repeat itself in history. Karma's a _bitch_. It bit Levi in the ass real hard. Someone's probably going to come step on him soon and crumble his power. He wouldn't have changed a thing.

Being nice doesn't change a thing, either.

He settled for something he could do. Something he had the confidence to be capable of. _I want to see him cry._

And he wanted it so bad.

-

"You can't hurt me." He says, with so much ease and confidence that it makes Eren burn, burn with rage again. Especially when he's unrecognizably covered in blood, when Eren could hear the crack in clarity when his knee connects to his ribs. 

A sharp intake of breath, nothing more. 

 _Tell me to fucking stop._ Eren inwardly seethes, finding his fingers gripping his hair again until his knuckles turn white. _Why don't you?_ It's been a long while. Weeks, maybe. Not once had he gotten a single protest and it's driving him fucking insane.

"No?" He hisses, lowering his hand to dig his nails in a firm jaw, forcing his eyes up. Something got into him, and he was tugging on the sash around his waist to gruffly untie it, whipping it off. He felt his pulse quicken underneath his fingers, saw the slight dilatation of his pupils.

He smirked, a moment of unbelievable satisfaction washing over him.

"Don't." Levi whispered, and he knew he'd absolutely nailed it.

"Does it bother you?"

-

He hates himself when he steps out of the dank little room, so much that he doesn't even recognize himself anymore.

"Petra, prepare my bath." He says tiredly, avoiding her gaze. He takes off his constricting jewelry, treads past his mirror with his eyes on the floor.

 _Don't think._ He sits on his bed, knuckles cracking when he presses his fist against his knee. She steps out of his bathroom a minute later, perusing him with her gaze.

His heart picks up, like she could see past that sugary layer of tan and green and young beauty--like she could see the filth underneath his fingernails. Crawling under his skin, suffocating him.

"Your water is warm, master." She said quietly, a bit of worry evident in her tone."Shall I bring dinner while you bathe?"

"No. I'll hand you my clothes in a minute, please wash them right away."

"Of course." She watches him as he gets up, while he crushes his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Call in the prison guards of the third sector, I need to have a word with them."

Her eyes trail after him as he draws the curtains when stepping into his washroom, mumbling a,"Yes your highness." She takes his clothes and leaves, and he sinks into the hot water to keep a thing of his sanity.

He thinks about what he doesn't want to think about, scrubs at his skin till it's irritated and red. _You're disgusting._ He tells himself, the words echo in his head over and over again. _Because_ _you crossed the one line he's never crossed._

Does it matter? _Yes, it fucking matters._

 _Stop thinking._ His skin is still itching, and he scrubs the feelings of sickness off. It replays in his head, makes him want to drown himself in scalding water to ease the disgust.

Levi, telling him to stop.

Levi, fighting back.

Levi, unable to fight back. 

He begged. He protested. He cried.

Isn't it enough? _No, it isn't._

_-_

Everything took a turn. Levi didn't laugh at him anymore, never met his gaze. Something died in his eyes, everything did, and it seemed absurd to fight against what isn't fighting back. Eren realized, that confidence of a certain power he still possessed over Eren was what angered him, drove him to make any of it cease.

He fought because Levi was still fighting, still had the upper hand.

But he wasn't anymore.

And Eren didn't know what to do anymore.

"Are you really finished?" He asks, Levi turns away from him, seals his lips and doesn't acknowledge his presence."Shame. I thought you had more fight in you."

 _Say something, dammit._  The noise of his palm connecting with his cheek rung in the bare walls, but it barely made him blink."Don't you fucking ignore me."

"What do you want?"

"I want my family back, bastard."

He glances up, looks him dead in the eye, and it isn't something strong enough to question his power, hateful--it is a hardened look that simply rejects any existence of his power. Eren swallows something down.

_I thought I'd already broke him._

"I want a lot back, too." He says, devoid of any emotion."I want my childhood with a loving mother back. I want a father to take the burden of the crown off of me back, too. I want an ounce of my innocence back."

Eren can't find it in him to say anything.

"You want your family?" His lips tug back tiredly, breathes a small laugh."You think I could really kill my own sister?"

Eren's eyes widen.

"Maybe if you'd use this time to search the cells of this dungeon instead of sitting here whining like a little _bitch_ , you'd make more use of your life."

"I don't want to hear you calling her _sister_ ever, you fucking dirty faker." 

"That's for her to decide." He says in a sense of finality, and Eren's up on his feet in a second. 

"She's made up her mind a long time ago."

"I told her everything." Levi says before he could leave, rooting him in place."Everything her " _parents"_ didn't think was necessary to tell."

Eren gives him one last spiteful glower before pushing out, pulse ringing in his ears. _She's fucking alive_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone think Mikasa can do some counseling for the idiots?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally put the title to some use.
> 
> also a bit of Levi POV for the baes

"What did you tell her, bastard?" 

Eren finds her but she just _won't_ fucking talk to him. As if being stuck in a dungeon for months, probably watching her parents be killed in front of her eyes would make her want to cling onto him for a while.

Levi had done something to make her like that.

He removed the ring of keys from his waist, brass jingling against each other as he twists it in one of Levi's cuffs. It releases with a clank, and he lets his arm slide down, limp and wounded.

"I'm talking to you." He grits, moving on to the next cuff. 

"Don't have a breath to waste."

Eren's eyes narrow, bending his wrist so it would cut against the metal. A finger twitches, followed by a trickle of blood down the inside of his arm, nothing more. _Goddamn you._

He unlocks the second, and the the restrain falls loose, landing in a heap of chains on the ground.

Levi's knees instantly give away, hit the floor in a light thud. He didn't crumble further, remained tiredly in his position, head ducked as always.

 _Isn't this what you want?_ A voice whispered at the back of his mind as he took him in. Here he was, propped before him on his knees--in more ways than one.

Another smirk tugs at his lips, and he slides his fingers through the silk of dark hair until he curls them in a satisfying grasp. He forces his head back and his eyes up, an idea comes into his mind, and it's no better than what he did before.

Levi meets his gaze--there isn't a silent plea in his eyes in dread of just what he could do right now, but maybe sickened anticipation.

Eren lets his hand glide down along his bruised cheekbone, a caress that might have made him shiver unpleasantly."I wouldn't prefer you anywhere else."

Levi moves, it comes as a surprise for Eren--to wipe a thing of blood from his chin."You're disgusting."

"I know." He folds a taut leg and presses his knee to the wall, let's it rest on Levi's shoulder."But so are you."

-

The only reason Eren let this happen was because it wouldn't be good if he left Levi out of the picture, not with such a packed meeting, one of his firsts--since he'd taken it upon himself to claim Levi an adviser of some sorts.

He let him bathe, got him into those beautiful silks, but he hadn't thought of the bruises and wounds beforehand. Levi steps into that very same foyer that was his own before, and the turn that the world had taken was almost laughable.

Eren stood before the same window, and it was that day all over again."You did it on purpose, didn't you." Eren says in dismay as walks up to him, giving him a onceover. His thinner figure was something ineveitable--not too drastic, but noticeable just the same.

"Why didn't you eat, hm? You want their pity?" He plays with the other's bangs till they cover the cut on his forehead, physically feels Levi go rigid. He knows that feeling all too well, of wanting to shed your own skin off to maybe find something cleaner underneath.

"I don't need any of their pity." His voice was the same, tone unchanging. Fuck him and his overconfidence."Not sure about you. Little boy in clothes too big from him, sitting in an oversized throne. Pitiful."

Eren's lips threaten to dip down."Is it because you're not in chains anymore? Does it reinforce that smart mouth of yours?"

"Chains make you feel secure. You know I can't use my hands much."

"You're enough of a slut without them."

Eren can only stumble a foot back when he's slapped so hard the noise rings in his ears and stings more than the pain, and he holds his jaw while his eyes freeze on a spot on the floor.

" _Don't_." It's that same tone, the same tone that momentarily makes Eren feel so much smaller and weaker."Don't you fucking dare."

Eren can't. Can't hit him, can't hurt him in any way right now because it'll backfire hard. He wouldn't admit that part of him that was paralyzed with fear he thought he'd gotten over long ago.

It was at that instant she decided to step in, and it took Eren a moment to realize her presence.

She was finally in clothes that were tailored for her grace, a glimmer in her hair. Eren bitterly wondered why it had to be punctuated with that dull and cold look in her eyes, one far too similar to Levi's.

They settle on Eren for a moment, flick to Levi with the same unidentifiable emotion. The air suddenly thickened.

"Don't you two idiots have anything better to do than quarrel like children?"

Eren only blinked, accustomed to the words. Levi looked like he was experiencing something new.

Mikasa's lips thinned."Anyway. You're expected in their already."

"Soon as Petra comes in with his makeup."

-

There is absolutely too much going on in that damn packed room, but just enough so Eren can keep tabs. Was all of this shit his responsibility? Managing the silos, the treasury, mundane little tidbits in the city, the fucking army.

He wouldn't admit it, but Levi saved his ass up there in front of all those officials and nobles. The little "discussions" the two had (which consisted of Levi telling him what to say to the dot) and the few times he'd cut in to answer for him before he opened his mouth and screwed up where what kept those watchful eyes off of him for a while.

Erwin, disregarded him so much it physically pained him.

Levi's act was flawless--like absolutely nothing had happened in between. It made Eren feel sick to his stomach. He didn't hesitate to give Eren a harsh look when he smiled at him fakely, when he put his hand atop his.

The last thing he needed was them to think he felt some sympathy for Eren, like there was something a bit less than a war going on behind those intricately carved walls.

He couldn't stop himself from interjecting--this wasn't for Eren but it was the reputation of the entire royal family, and the higher upper's evasion of Mikasa's case infuriated him.

It almost felt like a conspiracy, if he knew Eren couldn't be better than a fuck up in every system he steps foot in. It would be impossible to make him cooperate into anything.

The closure of the meeting sealed it. He'd kept his eyes on the unkempt space put between the men in the room and the throne, the unusual activity bypassing him back and forth. It was overwhelming and kept Eren distracted.

He felt uneasy, left a watchful eye around him.

Then he saw it, the fold of robes, the glimmer of a blade unsheathed.

Erwin gave him a glance, and apparently he'd went quiet for too long and gave them just enough time. An identifiable flurry blocked his view, screams and roars were suddenly deafening and by the time he'd kicked the men around him off and down the throne room had flipped a one eighty.

Erwin was shouting at the guards, the heavy doors were being heaved shut, and a few men slipped passed before they could fasten it in place. The guards opted to chasing after them while the rest of the crowd went wild in agitation.

He didn't know why it had went passed him--but Mikasa's screams made him whip his attention back to a blood stained an empty throne, and to her white robes fluttering over a limp figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai  
> Two more chaps to go before I finish this awkward arc of hateness.
> 
> One sis and two bros the sis is affiliated to both but the bros ARE NOT TO EACH OTHER
> 
> Wtf is wrong with this fic??


	14. Chapter 14

"Damn, that was...rough." Hanji says with a sigh as she steps out of the room, Mikasa quickly making her way towards her. Hanji gave her a smile and a pat on the shoulder."He isn't dead. I mean, he might die, but he's okay for now."

" _What_?"

"The wound isn't too deep, or well aimed for that matter." She said with a dismissive wave of her hand, and Levi listened in from his distant place."Actually, it should be the least of our worries. He got a pretty hard blow to his head with his fall."

"Is he--?"

"He's definitely alive." She says with a nod."But that's all I can tell you."

She let out a breath she'd been holding, practically trembling at this point. A hectic hour had passed--then silence. Erwin still hadn't returned with his soldiers.

Hanji gave her hand a squeeze and walked off, sparing Levi a glance as she passed by. He instantly lowered his gaze. Maybe it was his bruises that made her linger, but she knew when he wanted to talk and when he didn't.

Her footsteps echoed in the bare halls, echoed until they disappeared. Mikasa stood silently by the door.

Levi let a moment pass--let her make a decision. She didn't go inside."You still care, don't you."

Her shoulders tensed."Am I not supposed to?"

She was so much like him, but so different. So similar and so different that he didn't know how to approach her anymore."No."

"Eren is my brother." She says firmly."Maybe not by blood, but still no less my brother."

"His parents killed yours." He spits out." _Ours_. Stripped you of your proper position in life."

"He had absolutely nothing to do with it." She replies, tone leaving no room for argument."It doesn't matter. I never knew they existed, anyway."

" _Now_ you do."

"It doesn't make a difference."

He scowled at this.

"Eren didn't do anything to you. He didn't deserve your treatment. But you deserve it _all_."

"It's unfortunate I wasted so much breathe on you."

"It's unfortunate we were carried in the same womb." She grits, robes swaying as she opens the door and storms inside.

Levi pretended that didn't stab him in the chest. 

-

Mikasa shuts the door behind her, takes a moment to compose herself, and Eren's blinking back at her when she opens her eyes again."You're awake?"

He moves a hand to touch his head, winces and rolls to the side."Was I asleep?"

She sighs in relief, moves towards him and leans down by his bed. His eyes flutter open again, this time regarding her closely."You look beautiful." He says, tone surprised. She smiles a little, her tears fall because she simply couldn't hold back."Woah, why're you crying? Something wrong?"

"No, no, it's okay. I'm glad you're okay."

"Why?" He looks genuinely confused, wincing again."My head hurts."

"You fell pretty hard."

"I did?" His brow furrows, and he moves to lay on his back." _Ouch_."

"Don't move too much, you might hurt yourself."

"But--" He freezes, eyes narrowing at the ceiling. He then bunches the fabric of his sheets in a hand, throws glances around. He looks half appalled, half stunned."Um."

Mikasa laughs despite herself at his expression."What's the matter with you?"

"This isn't--" He feels his soft bed again."Where the hell are we?"

"Go back to sleep."

"No, I'm serious." 

"Hey, don't move--"

He doesn't listen to her, only grimacing and holding his wounded stomach before throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He hisses in pain.

"For god's sake, Eren." She helps him up before he bleeds again, and he makes sure he can walk before leaning away from her."Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Where is this place?" He looks so awestruck it was funny, if it weren't so alarming.

Mikasa blinked, searching his face to find anything other than confusion."You mean you don't know?"

"You mean _you_ do?" He shoots back, making careful steps towards the door.

"Will you take a seat and rest--"

"Shh, leave me alone." He says, pulling the door open."Holy mother of--" His jaw hangs open as he takes in the majestic hallways, the pillars, blinks at the man in eyeliner leaning against a wall and giving him a weird glare.

Eren just stares at him, Mikasa joined him at the door, dreading some unpleasantries."We can talk later, Eren."

"About?" He asks, scratching his jaw."Maybe what the fucking hell we're doing in, I don't know, something that looks like a palace in Egypt?" He chuckles,rubbing at his face with a hand and giving her a look.

Levi's arms cross tighter and he gives Mikasa a look."The fuck are you even doing, Mikasa?"

Eren blinks, gazing away from Mikasa."Wait, who?"

Levi silently regards him.

"What do you mean, Eren?" Mikasa says uneasily.

"Mikasa, _please_." He huffs, leaning against the door."I don't even--"

"You do realize that's Levi, right?"

Eren throws a glance at the said raven, back at Mikasa."I've never met such a person."

A dead silence, completely uncomfortable.

Eren swallows a bit, confusedly glancing at Levi again."I'm not supposed to know him, right?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know.
> 
> I'm sorry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooh hope y'all recovered from the last chapter.

"Breathe, Eren, _breathe_."

"I'm alright." His head throbbed with numbing pain, and he clenched his teeth tight, curled in around himself again. In the very, very soft and plush--equally foreign bed. It didn't smell like his, but they told him it was.

He remembered his bed smelling like a mixture of bark, sweat, and his mother's laundry solutions, a comforting aroma he simply couldn't pinpoint. He inhaled expensive musk and soap instead, a small distinction of leather somewhere in the air.

Mikasa knew it was his bed. His room. So it must have been alright, everything was completely alright. He felt her gentle fingers running through his hair, easing the miniature panic attack into a soothing slumber.

All he needs is some sleep.

-

Eren was wrong.

When he woke up, the bed was still soft, he still smelled musk, and Mikasa was gone. He threw his sheets off and sat up so quickly it was a surprise he didn't snap a bone.

He groaned, received a tsk."Lay back down, you'll hurt yourself." Another foreign voice reprimanded. 

Clutching his stinging stomach, he blinks around in strain, trying to find the source of the voice. Blinding sunlight flooded in through the window in massive amounts, reflecting off of all the shiny surfaces lining "his" room. A pinch to the tip of his ear made him again, whip around too quick, and he got a shake of a head and a sigh as he withered in pain.

A lady in a maid outfit wrung a wet cloth in her hand, shaking it at him authoritatively."Off with your clothes."

"W-what?" Eren managed. Being in a goddamn palace was alright, but being asked to strip by a random women who looks ready to kick his ass if he refuses was just--unbelievable. He grabbed the sheet over himself protectively and gave her a look."No thanks."

She sighs in exasperation."Look, Eren, I know you're a bit out of your mind right now, but you gotta know this--I'm a bit like your mother. It's fine."

"Yeah, and you had me when you were ten? Please." He flops back in bed irritably.

"I'll get a scary man to frighten you out out of your clothes if you don't. You'll infect the wound."

"I'd like to see you _try_." Man, this bullshit was really giving him a headache. She huffs in anger, her feet pad across the floor and the door swings open. 

He vaguely hears a,"Hanji, I need to scare him out of his clothes--seen Levi anywhere?" 

"I feel offended. You have me, seriously."

That's when Eren got attacked by a lady with messy hair and a frightening grin, battled her over his clothes, and in the end they got him out of his tunic and thankfully kept him in pants. He still grumbled as his wound was dressed.

"Not too bad, nuh uh." Hanji says as she stares it down."Give it a few days." He practically bristles when she casually felt his entire stomach with a grin."Mm, not bad indeed. Firm muscles."

"Hanji, you're making him uncomfortable."

Eren just tried to keep whatever was left of his sanity as she finally pulled away."Where's Mikasa?"

"She's asleep, give her a few minutes. She was up all night." Less threatening maid tells him."Security was brought up tenfold."

"Huh?"

"Later, Eren. You should rest a bit." She says, deeming her work complete."You still drowsy?"

"Yes." He lied, and she patted his head to his dismay.

"Then get back to sleep while I make you something to eat."

A nod.

She puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at him."Sleep, nothing but."

He blinked. It was almost scary how well she knew him."Aye, aye."

Hanji gave him a terrifying grin before they both left, and he let out a breath he'd been holding. After listening intently, and until their voices and footsteps faded away, he slid out of bed, searched the foreign room for his sandals.

He found some leather beauties that looked freshly made and sat there, appreciating them for a full minute before putting them on. His reflection in the mirror had caught his eye for a moment.

Standing there in nothing but his _silk_ pants, he almost staggered a foot back because he didn't know who he was staring at anymore. Had his jaw always been so squared? Had his arms really been this muscle wired, and not childishly bony?

Had his eyes always looked so dull and empty?

He simply stood there and stared, until his head throbbed and a crease formed between his eyebrows.

Maybe he'll wake up soon, he decided, turning away. He stopped.

Gave his back to the mirror.

Nearly screamed.

-

That was enough seeing. He had to do something about this, despite whatever consequence might come out of him leaving when the maid told him not to.

The place was so intimidating large, maze like and twisting with never ending hallways that he got lost in the repetitive drawings along the walls, the cateye eyeliner adorning every eye, the beetles, the royalty.

Eren definitely _was_ in an Egyptian castle. 

"Being a creep runs through your veins, does it."

He scrambled to hide when he heard a terrifyingly deep and authoritative voice, deciding to straighten up and face it like a man when he found nowhere to hide. He turned around to find the man he saw from earlier giving him a look that made him slightly uneasy (and severely _queasy_ ), and he almost felt the need to apologize.

"Hey, do you know where Mikasa is right now? I think you might know her..."

He got a small once over, a look of surprise. Right, Eren was supposed to _know_ this dude."You should be in bed." Was his unfazed reply.

"Why does everyone treat me like I'm four, _god_." He explodes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because you act like you are."

Eren didn't want to throw a tantrum and reinforce his view, so he stood internally fuming instead. The guy finally turned around and tread the other way, and Eren panicked."Wait, don't go." He murmured pitifully."I don't know this place."

He stopped."That's your problem."

Eren skidded over behind him."Um, take me to my room?"

"You don't remember me, right?" He says blankly, and Eren wants to cringe.

"No?"

"Well here's something you have to remember. I'm not particularly... _fond_ of you."

"I'm sorry if I punched you in the face on first sight or something." he says with a sigh."I tend to do that often. You know, pick fights with assholes. You seem to be a pretty major asshole, so..."

The guy threw him a look over his shoulder, and Eren's blood went cold. He definitely hadn't just punched him in the face.

He was suddenly aware of the bruises coloring his skin, the cuts that he'd so idiotically overlooked. The spark of something unpleasant in his eye. He prayed to whatever god that that wasn't his doing. Of anyone's doing.

"You didn't punch me in the face." He says simply, continuing on ahead."If you had, then you wouldn't be walking on your own two feet right now."

Eren swallowed, queasiness doubling. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if Eren can win him over with puppy eyes


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna finish this shmidt

"Oh my god, Mikasa." He didn't give her a moment--to her embarrassment in front of quite a few people in the courtyard he hugged her waist and hid his face in her chest."Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasaaaaa."

"Eren." She says through her teeth. _You're the governor of Egypt_ , she didn't say."Act like your age."

He looks up."I need _help_ I'm either going crazy or I'm going crazy."

She quiets him down and drags him inside, a few snickers grating against her ears from behind. Eren clung onto her like a child and she didn't blame him. 

"Do you trust me if I tell you that you should be here, and not....back home?" She begins cautiously when they'd finally had some solitary time. Hanji had assured her it wasn't witchcraft like everyone was assuming--it was a health issue that needed tolerance.

"Of course." he says, still looking troubled."But how?"

"You hit your head, Eren. And I'm afraid you've lost a few memories. But just follow along, you'll be fine."

"Are we staying here?"

She doesn't know what to tell him. Where would they go if they left? Would Levi hunt them down? Would they be able to survive on their own? "Yes. We're staying."

He looks frustrated."But mom and dad--"

She hugs him, muffles whatever comes next. He doesn't see the tears welling up in her eyes."First, your recovery. Mom and dad come next."

He slumps dejectedly, but complies."Okay."

-

Eren wasn't exactly content by being confused out of his fucking mind, but couldn't do much about it either. He signed paper when he was asked to, continued rebelling behind Petra's back, and hid under his bed when the scary doctor lady barges into his room.

He didn't know what to do with the little angry man, though. If anything, he was curious. About the stabbing glowers sent his way, about his battered state and his slight limp. How he managed to stay so terrifying despite it all. Carla had always told him not to mess with a dude with a black eye or something of the sorts. Bruises and black eyes: they've seen worse than you and can trample you. Especially the shorter, swift ones. 

But most importantly, he seemed to absolutely despise Eren. But the younger didn't, wasn't sure if he was supposed to reciprocate the feeling. 

He felt like the only child all around the palace, everyone was so damn mature in this place. He saw the raven that troubled his thought alone in the courtyard once, grooming a black mare. So, naturally, he creeps up behind him and before he can grab his sides, he's immobilized by a grip around his throat.

"Holy shi-" He wheezes, fingers tightening and blocking the air. Levi hadn't even sent a glance back, and only now decided to throw him a brief gaze. His eyes darken.

"It's you."

He's released, and he staggers, taking sharp lungfuls."Why would you--why would you do that?!"

The mare's coat has a sheen to it, and he admirably runs a brush along it's spine."Say you wanted to kill me."

"So based on an assumption you'd kill me first. _Wow_." Eren breathes, straightening up and huffing a final breath to steady himself.

"I've seen enough to know a natural human tendency." He says, tone almost bitter."A shitty one, too."

"Is that your horse?" The brunet unintentionally cuts off."Pretty."

Levi doesn't say anything, and Eren loses all hope in the guy's communication skills. He watches the mare for a while, feeling Levi tense when he pets her muzzle with a small smile."I've always wanted a horse. But mom just wrung my ear and made me a mount a mule." He misses the slight change in Levi's expression.

"Well, look at what you have now."

"What _do_ I have?" He huffs, squinting at the animal and imitating it's dramatic snort. Levi looks exasperated with him.

"Go away." he says coldly.

"Why?"

"Because your presence physically pains me."

Eren's brow furrowed in offense."I apologized."

"For?"

"Whatever it is I bothered you with."

His eyes finally sweep over to him again, steely and penetrating. He smirks, and it's downright morose."Sorry isn't enough."

Eren swallowed."What did I do?"

"You'd rather not now." He spits, tone laced with disgust. Eren stands there for a full minute as he walks the horse back into it's stall, appallingly guilty for something he doesn't even remember doing. What had he done? Had he really inflicted all these injuries on him?

Or was there even _more_? Something unpleasant crawled under his skin.

-

"What on earth are you doing, Eren?"

Eren paused sabotaging his nose, eyes drifting to Petra making his bed. She sighed tiredly."Get off of the floor. I get that you were raised in a barn, but show some respect.'

"Hey." He snapped, crossing his legs and sitting more comfortably and stubbornly."'S wrong with floor?"

"What's wrong is you dropping yourself levels than your actual position."

The brunet rolled his eyes and picked up the white tunic again, stuffing it to his nose and inhaling again."This."

"This _what_?"

"I get that everything here is weird--but this definitely isn't mine." He inhales again, hums something under his breath.

"Dear gods, something is wrong with this child." Petra gruffly fluffs his pillow.

"It's--really addicting. Not musk or anything. Is this a noble perfume?" He shuts his eyes and sniffs again, oddly in love with scent. Petra then stalks up to him and snatches the article of clothing from him, flapping it out to see. Just a sleeveless white tunic. She lowers it and smirks down at the boy, a glint in her eye. She throws back in his lap.

"That's Levi's." She says as she walks to his wardrobe.

Eren's face heats up despite himself, awkwardly fumbling with the fabric."Oh. Oh, okay."

"Addicting, huh?" Petra teases, and Eren throws it at her and curls in around himself. 

"It smells good, I'm sorry." He sputters.

She pointedly folds it and tucks it between his clothes, and his embarrassment increases."What's it doing in here?"

"I should ask you that."

"Hey. _You_ bring in my laundry."

She tsks."It's alright Eren, I can keep a secret."

"There is no secret, I liked his perfume, that's it."

"Well that wasn't _just_ his perfume." Eren groaned."That was a special blend of Levi's soaps and Levi's laundry solutions and Levi's lotions and Levi's sweat--"

"I get it, geez, woman." Eren snaps."I committed a crime, bury me alive."

"Drama queen." She leaves with a grin and keeps  Eren to grieve behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE TWO  
> gdi


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of sympathy I feel for Levi and the lack of it you guys feel is unfucking believable.

Eren felt the need to sit up straight, to take the leathery skins in his hands seriously and read. Especially with a steely pair of eyes watching him, and closely. He felt so betrayed, Mikasa leaving him with this dude that has established a foundation of 'let's hate each other on a daily basis', and to top it off a really intoxicating smell that's making him crazy. Levi sat and quite murderously babysat him while he sifted through the inevitable signatures. 

"Hey, since you're the cautious guy..." Eren mumbles as he inspects a section of one."What if I'm like, signing my own death wish or something?"

"Isn't it obvious when a skin says 'distribution of treasury' instead of 'Do you want to sign your death wish'?"

Eren makes a face at his sarcasm."I'm pretty sure politics is all riddles." He squints at the paper again, toes curling against the softness of his bed."Like here, am I supposed to sign the replacement of a troop? Or is this, like, a dispatch?"

"You're not assigned that crap. It's Smith's job." He gets up from his chair and leans over Eren to read. Eren subconsciously inhales, not bothering to hide it. Levi continued scanning the words, unfazed until Eren practically stuck his nose in the junction between his collarbones."What the fuck, Yeager." He shoves his face away in distaste, sitting back in his chair. Eren grins contentedly. 

"So?"

"That's an order to pass by law. Technically, you _can_ disagree. But you shouldn't, since you're not a judging official."

Eren hums in thought, genuinely interested."I've always wondered about Egyptian law. Dad knows the ins and outs, but rarely tells me anything." A sigh."I miss back home. It's nice here, but the amount of comfort is making me really uncomfortable."

Levi stiffened.

Eren blinks up at him, smile somewhat hopeful."You wanna hear about my lame peasant life?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll start with me, personally. I like to hunt. No wait, I _love_ to hunt. Funny thing is, Jaeger means hunter in some weird language." Eren looks up in thought."Can't remember what it was called."

"Do you _actually_ hunt? Or do you just chase some random animals and run back with your tail between your legs?"

Eren's eyes narrow in offense."I hunt our food. Most of the time. Depending on, what mom's willing to let us eat. She's picky. I hunted a male deer once."

Levi raised an eyebrow.

"I did!" Eren puffs out his chest."It didn't taste as good as it looked." He continued, overtaken by an energetic hype to rant. Levi, for some reason, listened. For once, listened."Have you ever had a mom's cooking after a tiresome day?" Eren suddenly asks, and Levi feels the question hit him unpleasantly.

"No." he answers truthfully.

"Oh." Eren pauses for a second."I don't know, maybe it's just me, but, mom's soup cures everything. My fever, my tiredness, my tantrums." Eren looks down, and before Levi knows it, he's wetting his sheets with enormous, childish tears."I really do miss home."

Levi couldn't stand this anymore. For a moment, he'd been enthralled by the boy's innocence. By his forgetfulness, and just how much he could be without certain events. Then another moment--he realizes he can't let himself do this. He can't get any closer, can't hear more than this.

You don't say those things to the very person that stripped you of home. Of motherly comfort, of happiness. 

These feelings that juggle between hating this fuckface, himself, and not being able to hate those innocent eyes and smiles. It clawed up his throat and burned, the smoke choking him up and stinging his eyes.

Eren stopped, his lips thinned and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, the same way he did in the corner of Levi's foyer, the same way he did in his mother's arms, frightened by the fire and blood and screams.

But this smile. If this genuine smile only didn't exist, so much of his inner turmoil would be reduced.

"I'm sorry." Eren murmurs.

And if only sorry were enough. If only sorry could heal the lashes and the scars left behind.

He's lost the ability to give and receive an apology long ago. He simply couldn't take it. 

Eren's gaze is on him again, and it's curious and fascinated and as guilty as a mutt who'd hurt it's master unknowingly, and it's exactly that that makes his feelings more ambivalent. 

A sheen layers the green of his eyes, his eyelids fall slightly, and he's not in the same place anymore.

"Why're you staring so hard?"

He blinks in question, lips parting slightly. What comes out of his mouth next is so innocent it's practically devilish."You're beautiful." He says simply and boldly."The kind that's captured in paint and hung on walls."

For a moment, Levi counters his gaze, probably looking appalled, and Eren's eyes flick from side to side in hyper awareness of what he'd just said.

Levi abruptly gets up and strides out of his room, Eren watching him uneasily out of the corner of his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi just fucking love him alreADY


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switching to Levi's POV for a while.

In the chaos of the recent events, he'd had his hands more than full. Eren's state of mind still wasn't revealed to the public, and as his official advisor and coordinator, he had to do everything while the brat sat his pretty ass and bitched about working his wrist muscles. A case of investigation was opened for the incident, since Erwin wasn't able to catch the men held liable for Eren's injuries. It was ruling all over again.

And then there was Eren himself as a person. Disregarding all barriers and respect, all the cold dismay Levi had instantaneously kindled between them. Pretended his statement that night hadn't went unanswered, hadn't gradually began killing Levi.

"You smell really good. Can I use your laundry solutions?"

"After a field day, not even an alcohol scrubbing would work on you. Get out of my way."

"I need your help with government stuff." Eren sticks his tongue out him when he glares in annoyance."You have to."

"I taught you enough." Levi huffs, brushing past him. Eren tags after him, naturally.

"But you're my adviser person, aren't you?"

"Theoretically."

Eren tugs on his wrist, and he stiffens, memories he'd rather not recall flooding into his mind. Still, he couldn't help the feeling of self disgust overcoming him. He gives Eren that one look--that one look that he can't pretend he doesn't see. He lets go apologetically. Levi isn't in the best of moods.

He holds up his wrist for him to see, worn out from metal cuffs and marked with something irremovable. Eren grimaces, but the scars weren't what Levi wanted to show him."You see this? Now I want to rip my fucking skin off." He seethes."Don't touch me."

Eren recoils, greens welling up with guilt.

"Please." Levi whispers as an afterthought, walking away.

Eren avoided physical contact like the plague after that. Levi reconsiders why he let him in on that vulnerability. It was idiocy of him. It did achieve the desired affect, though.

He felt Mikasa's eyes on him for a few days--couldn't understand what lay behind that hardened gaze that challenged his, as she watched Eren bounce about him, sweat buckets as Levi prepares him for a meeting, as he accidentally twists too quick and reopens a wound, blood seeping through the chest of his tunic in small clouds.

She opened her mouth to say something then, but he was already out of the room.

She didn't let him do the same the next day.

He passed by her wordlessly, naturally, but he was suddenly whipped back around from a grasp around his jaw that brought him face to face with her gaze. The instinct to fight bubbled and rose quickly, by she simply _couldn't_ hurt him.

No one could. Not anymore.

Her eyes trailed down his face, to his bare and battered arms, to his thinner ankles. Something suddenly softened in them, like they would for Eren."Why don't you take care of your wounds?"

"I wash them everyday till they bleed once more." He says, voice monotone as he pointedly removed her fingers."They heal faster than my mind."

"I have some medical experience. Come with me."

"I'd rather not."

Her eyes narrow, and Levi's features harden irritably when she bunches the front of his tunic with a fist and glares him down."Eren has learned not to question my tendencies." She says lowly."And I have a certain way with my brothers. Whether it is pampering or ass kicking." She lets him go, and Levi definitely does _not_ dwell and what she called him.

He does, however, let himself follow.

-

"It has been brought to my attention that the merchandise of Memphis, specifically, the personal handling the...the import and export business, have been acting like exceptional assholes--" Eren smacked his forehead with the paper and groaned till his throat hurt, Levi was about hurl him out of the window."I can't do thiiiis."

The older is up on his feet, Eren almost falling back in his chair when he slammed both hands on his desk."I clearly remember being bullshitted into being your advisor--not your babysitter, Yeager." he hisses through his teeth."It has been brought to my attention that the merchandise of Memphis, specifically, the personal handling the import and export business, have co-operated with Atribis into selling a crucial amount of goods in order to bring the downfall of Memphis's market. Say it."

Eren blinked, pushing back in his chair in fright."It has been brought to my--ughhhhh." He throws his head back and moans, Levi resisting, yet again, throwing him out of the fucking window.

"You have five minutes to memorize. No more. Quick, I'm waiting."

Eren planks on his bed and mumbles under his breath, Levi sitting back and impatiently tapping his foot. A minute passes, and he restlessly rolls over to his side and blinks at Levi without any shame or hesitation. Levi tried to look intimidating. Eren was unfazed.

"Hey, you know..." He starts, and Levi prepares himself for some bullshit. Or something like that day before. Eren trails off and stops, mouth still hanging open.

"Know what, idiot."

"I've been thinking."

"That isn't a promising prospect."

Eren subconsciously pouts, propping himself on an elbow. He zoned out again for a minute."Do you really, just, straight out hate me? Or do you hate...whatever it is I've done to you?"

"Concentrate."

"No, please." His eyes rounded more."Talk to me."

"I don't like pouring my heart out to incompetent fuckers."

"Hey!" Eren childishly blows his cheeks up."I was about to say something nice."

"Okay. You wanna hear it?" Levi flattens out his voice."Hate, is a complete understatement. I hate finding a speck of dirt on my laundry. I hate to find a single wrinkle on my bed. That is hate. But you." He makes sure Eren is looking at him."You make me _loathe_ myself as much as I loathe you."

He asked for it. He had no right to look hurt.

"Well....you know what I think?" He spits back in a tone to match his expression."I don't hate you. Even though I'm sure I would reciprocate the feeling if I knew my experiences with you. I might hate something about you, but not all."

"You don't know how to hate." He says finally."You're too innocent."

Eren blinks at him, takes it in. He's hanging somewhere in between two thoughts. "How much of it is forgettable?"

"You want me to forget?" 

Eren nods earnestly.

"Then leave." 

Eren momentarily looks stung, like he'd been slapped, but he doesn't say anything. He memorizes his line, attends the meeting that goes along without a hitch.

-

There's a frantic rap at his door accompanied by shaky little whispers of,"Levi, sir!", that made him flinch from underneath his covers. He blinks awake, steps into a top and promptly opens his door.

Petra is standing there, wringing her quivering hands in the front of her skirt.

Levi has fully awakened by now."What is it?"

She swallows."Ah, sir, it's--it's Eren. I--I can't find him anywhere, I've spent the last hour searching for him. E-even Lady Meritaten--her room is bare."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That plot twist took me like ten seconds to come up with, hur hur.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hit me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING FINALLY a chapter with a resolution. 
> 
> I read the last Naruto chapter ;-; yes I'm still alive. But y'know what, it's inspiring. Because beating up each other is the solution to everything.

He trusted Mikasa.

Mikasa said they would make it. 

The feeling of hot sand, sliding underneath his sandals and occasionally burning his skin was strangely familiar, familiar in a way that made his stomach drop and a wave of nausea to roll over him. They blended in well against the winds, and Eren's only complaint was sweat pooling at his collarbones, making his covered hair sticky and shortening his breath underneath the material that wrapped snug over his nose. It was a common veiled appearance from the hot sands, and it made them hardly recognizable. 

He felt the impressive homes of Memphis narrowing on him in a sense of dread, afraid of the consequences of treason, of returning. But with each step, they neared the gates, and he felt himself draw closer to exile. The main gate was gradually becoming visible."Shouldn't we have taken the back gates?"

Mikasa didn't spare him a glance, the only thing visible a sliver of pale skin and her sharp eyes, that sliced through the crowd and occasionally faltered at harsh winds."Taking the back gates is too predictable. We would be caught."

"No one knows about this by now. They wouldn't have a chance to update security."

"Do you know what Levi and I have in common?"

Eren blinked at this, unsure when similarities had come in between the two."No."

"We think alike."

He didn't reply to this, as it was enough explanation.

"He told you to leave. But he wouldn't let you."

"What do you mean? Mikasa, he wishes I would leave."

"Now isn't a good time for you to leave. Memphis's entire governing system has been shaky and frowned upon, with all the recent chaos. The outer gates _will_ be put under strict supervision to ensure you remain."

She did have a good point, he decided. But he couldn't help feeling uneasy as they blended with the caravans and crowd about to depart, as he gave the Memphis behind him one last look. He tightened his veil as the guards motioning for them to hustle eyed the line in scrutiny.

"My gosh." Mikasa said under her breath, and he sent her a brief glance."That's a palace guard, I've seen him many times in the courtyard."

"What's he doing here?"

Her eyes narrowed in irritation."Levi isn't stupid. Don't say a thing if they question you, Eren. I'll do the speaking."

He nodded in affirmation as the guard motioned them forward, licking his dry lips. Normally, the guard didn't give second glances, looked to beaten down by the heat to do anything of the sorts. But his head whipped back at them, his eyes grew in speculation.

"Hold it."

Mikasa stiffened by him.

"Identify yourself."

"And why of all people us?"

"You do not belong to a caravan, I suppose? I would wonder why you would approach the barren on your own. That is blatant suicide."

"Step aside, sir, so we may commit suicide in peace." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and his brow twitched in indignation. 

"Identify yourself." He repeats firmly.

"We are visitors, and now are returning home."

He smirked, gave her a once over that made Eren clench his fist and swallow down his protective brotherly tendency. 

"Well then, make sure to stay careful under our sun. It tends to burn foreigners, you know."

"I think the only one who should be afraid of a burn is you." She deadpans, makes her way past him and Eren quickly follows.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him back in place, and Mikasa whips back around, but remains still. He stared at Eren for a long moment, and the said boy in turn tried not glare too hard, tried not to let his emotions flood through.

"I know those eyes."

Fuck.

"You are mistaken." Eren manages in a low voice. Before he can react quick enough, his veil is ripped off and an expression of surprise bleeds into the mans face.

"Your highness." He says, eyes quickly narrowing.

"Whatever are you talking about?" Mikasa grabs his wrist and is about make a dash for it, but the guard had already flipped him around and painfully twisted his arms behind his back."You—I'll show you. How dare you address me like this, you know very well who I am—"

He hears a snicker, begs Mikasa not to lunge forward.

"A traitor is a traitor, your highness." He looks up, scans the gates."Gunther!" He calls, and a thick haired raven is trotting towards them."Take the brat back to the palace."

"How come?"

"Orders."

Orders. _Orders_. Eren thinks as they're forced back the way they came, as his dread and fear made sense. Levi was always one step ahead of Mikasa, after all. He couldn't bring himself to blame her for this, he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do anything than lose every composure he possessed in the time he had left.

By the time they'd reached the majestic palace once more, the sun had beat down on him enough to combine with his seething thoughts and nearly fry his brain. An anger like poison coursed through his veins, and it was waiting for the right moment to channel through a fist or a sharp word.

When he walked the dim and eerily painted halls again, it was all he could do to restrain his rage.

When he was forced inside that goddamn foyer, the one that made him uncomfortable oddly enough with all it's comforts, it was all he could do to stand still and steady his breathing.

When Levi made his grand fucking entrance, his fingers twitched, and by some miracle only he kept his fist by his side.

He heard the scrape of his sandals, the aggravating click of a tongue."I never knew you were this stupid."

"I never knew you were this much of a bastard." It wasn't _this_ him talking anymore, it was a different conscious at the back of his mind he wasn't aware of. He lets his eyes drift upward, rake blindly over the faded remnants of his bruises."I finally have a justification behind whatever it is that happened to you."

His eyes swept to the side as if in thought, returned to pierce through Eren in that intensity so little were capable of. "If only you knew."

"Isn't this what you want?" He shouts."You wanted me to fucking leave, and I want the same. I'm tired of your bullshit. You don't want an apology. You don't want _anything_ to do with me. But I don't think you've had your revenge yet, have you?"

"It's funny how airheaded you are both ways. How easily you get worked up." He gives Eren a pointed gaze that makes me him feel hyper aware of himself all of a sudden."You would say the same thing, memories intact or not."

"What do you want?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"I want to beat you black and blue." He snaps in a moment of anger, because something told him he wouldn't be able to, not when he was conscious of a feeling of debt to this man.

He owed him bruises. He couldn't increase his debt.

He's stunned when Levi drops his arms by his sides in a gesture of no defense."Hit me."

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Levi's eyes narrow."Do it."

"No."

The impact renders him speechless, the pain only follows weakly and much later. He's knocked onto the floor in a moment, jaw blooming with pain as he watches a droplet of blood hit the rug. The impact lasts long enough to keep him unresponsive as Levi flips him on his back with a kick to his side, picks him off the floor from the front of his shirt. He has a split moment to glimpse molten of his silver, the settling of his storm. He's never seen a look so soft on his face. 

He earns another crack of his jaw, shoulder painfully meets the floor and this time he curls in around himself and grips his head with a hand.

He doesn't know himself anymore. Because he fights. He fights with tooth and nail, returns a blow tenfold. 

He was never afraid. And he knew more than anyone else, he didn't lay crumbled like this because he was afraid, but because guilt suddenly started eating away at him like the anger that had grown only moments ago, that had frozen helpless now in his veins.

Guilty. He was so fucking guilty. Levi sees an opening, slams his foot into his stomach. Not hard enough to make him pass out, though. Eren doesn't want to pass out yet. He doesn't want to sleep through this.

Levi leans over him, delivers a blow square in the center of his chest. God, where was the air, he really can't fucking breath anymore, and he stares at the ceiling as he wheezes for something to relieve his lungs.

"I told you to _hit me_." He says through his teeth, getting on his feet and kicking him in the side again. And again. And again.

Eren hides his tears behind an arm."I..." He manages in a small voice, his short breath cutting him off."I don't want to."

" _Why_?" Another kick, to the back of his neck that puts too much strain on his muscle. Not a single one of his instincts told him to fight. "You wanna know what I did?"

For a moment, he thought he'd hear a 'what you did', but he was completely caught off guard. 

He's hauled up by the front of his shirt again, he can't help but look him straight in the eye."I _killed_ your parents."

He distinctly heard the thud of the next punch.

"I killed a _bitch_ named Carla."

A trickle of blood stained his upper lip, his nose might've been broken.

"You want to leave? Where to? You want to go _home_?" There's a tremor in his voice, and Eren's in a state of paralysis. "Home is gone."

Eren can barely see through his tears, but he manages to land a punch where he wants it to. Levi stumbles a foot back. His shoulders shake in a silent sob, and a power he didn't he possessed takes over as he fits his hand in the curve of his neck and slams him into the nearest wall. He rests his forehead against the cool stone and by Levi's ear, cursed his trembling lips and his childish tears."You want to know what I did?" He whispers, lips struggling to form the words. 

Levi had the ability to hit him again. But he didn't. 

He has his biggest battle in that moment, as all his hate seeps back into his grip, as all of the images that had been locked away in a corner flooded back out like a disease. As he bites on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, and he tastes the metallic taste of it, the salt of his tears, the numbing of his agony. His fingers twitch one last time. Weakly let go, brush against the smaller's collarbones.

His hand slides down to Levi's chest in a gesture he himself couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend as he physically felt the pound of an exhausted heart and listened to his own pulse drown out everything else.

"I did enough." He can't say nothing more. He doesn't _have_ anything else to say.

His heart practically stops when a touch burns his nape, and he half expected nails to dig into his skin and break it vengefully, but nothing but a soft and tentative trail was left with the pad of cold fingers, cold and uncertain. He swears he hears a "So have I" as the hand simply stays there, and he drops his forehead against Levi's shoulder with a shudder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dies of pain* ARGH


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh sorry for the delay!! Dunno why this chapter took so long.

Eren, still processing the trauma of his sudden memories regained, slept through that night sniffling into his pillow, dampening it with his tears. Mikasa was out his door, and he didn't let her in. He knew just how much that pained her.

No asked when they'd both stepped out in their battered state, neither did they provide an explanation. Petra mechanically trails after the shorter as he swept down the hallway, exasperated tears in her eyes. 

"What did he want?" Mikasa says rather coldly, unintentionally wiping the corner of his bruised mouth to hard and making him flinch. Sleeping with his injuries wasn't the greatest of ideas.

"Nothing." Eren manages, back muscles aching from being taut so long."Ow, please try to be gentle."

She sighs, eyes distant."I'm sorry." 

Eren contemplated his next action. He definitely could cry his eyes out and pour his heart to Mikasa. Or he could scream at her and kick her out and sleep another few hours. There was such a vacancy in his being now, such airiness in his chest, that the thud of his heartbeat was too loud for his ears. And really, that's all he could feel right now. An odd emptiness so unlike him, but much better than the anxiety gnawing at him all night.

"Mikasa." He mumbled, finally making his decision."He hit me."

Her lips purse slightly."I can see that. Wait till I get my hands on him."

"Mikasa?" He says lamely again, still in that drowsy haze. She blinks at him questioningly."I hit em too, you know. I think we're even."

She fixes her eyes on him a moment too long, probably stunned and caught off guard."What?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, cast his gaze downwards and pushed her hands away."We're both terrible people."

Silence engulfed him, but she didn't move away.

"Is this how terrible people become friends?"

"Do you want to sleep?"

He stares at his feet for a moment, slowly runs both hands through his hair."Yeah."

He slept too much.

Perhaps, he'd slept much longer than he thought he did. Through the first day. Through the month. Through a few months, actually. Levi told him what to do, he sat stiffly back on his throne, and when they made eye contact Eren was still asleep.

Levi wasn't. He didn't realize this, not anytime soon, not later. Levi felt the brush of their shoulders, the discomfort at the pit of his stomach. Eren felt a cold tickle of his skin.

He couldn't wake up. He'd heard of a herb doing this to you, sometimes it's eaten by mistake and people start doing things funny. He was doing things downright _hilarious_. 

This was his new way of coping, rather than smashing walls. The stable boy's ceaseless nuisance and his underlying jabs never reached Eren, juts flew over his head. Auruo's unpleasant demeanor never threw him off, Levi's impatience never soured his mood, and he was coping, this is how he coped, this is how it is when his mind can process nothing, can grieve over nothing, can wish for nothing.

He gets out of one bad phase, morphs right into one that's worse. 

Levi asked him a question, and he finally understood his entire trance. He knew it was uncharacteristic of Levi to be so uneasy around him, for so much confounded irritation sparking in his eyes. He asked, because patience can only last so long.

He remembered doing this once, grabbing Levi by the wrist because the guy never waited a second for him. He felt a grasp around his own wrist as he attempted to leave, to the confinements of his own quarters. 

"Eren."

He briefly wondered when he'd ever heard Levi call him by his name. 

"Do you forgive me?"

That's it. This was _it_.  He blinked at the floor in sudden realization. He didn't utter a sound for so long, stood still enough for Levi to regretfully retract his hand.

Eren subconsciously looked for that coldness before it was out of reach, until Levi's fingers were threaded with his and he was wondering why his hand was smaller, stronger, colder, softer. He was wondering how for once there wasn't much contempt in their contact."I'm trying."

He _was_ trying. He was trying too hard.

In another month, Eren was up on his feet again. Found it in him to pounce out of bed, go have an argument with Jean before breakfast and accidentally knock all the laundry down, and in turn Petra stood over him and made him wash it all again. And it was a _lot_ of laundry. 

"But Petraaa--"

"You shut your mouth before I make you wash the next load! Hurry up, I don't have all day."

"Miss Petra?" Eren instantly recognized that as Erwin's voice, flushed when he realized the man was approaching. _God_ why won't the earth just crack open and swallow him whole."I'm sorry for the trouble, but could you please wash these for me in the next hour? I need them soon."

"Of course, sir." She took the clothes from him and dumped them on Eren's shoulder. Eren stiffened and kept his head down as he assumed Erwin was looking at him. Then the commander broke into a deep laugh, Petra hid a giggle behind her hand and to spare Eren further embarrassment, walked away still basking in mirth. 

"I hate you." Eren whined miserably as Petra finally laughed audibly, and he angrily smacked the dirty clothes into his bucket."Now he'll never take me seriously."

"Finish quick, you don't want Levi seeing you next."

"Oh my fucking _god_." Eren breathed in horror and frantically upped his speed. Petra was such a bitch at times. 

After finishing that mortifying task, Eren remembers paperwork, debates how hard Petra would kick his ass if he procrastinated any more. That was weeks old paperwork. Hey, he was almostrning twenty and for once in his fucking life his thought process had some logic in it. 

He stumbled into his quarters, grumbling under his breath, and made his way to his work space. At this point he shouldn't be surprised to find Levi in there, working on everything that was supposed to be Eren's responsibility, but for once he appreciated that there was only half of what he'd been accumulating present now. 

"Look who's here." He said in his usual tone as he punched the bottom of a skin with his ring.

"Is your stamp even valid?"

Levi looked up, as if to confirm that Eren had willingly inquired something and not just continued in his zombie state."For the most part. I'm leaving what I can't do aside and hoping you'll pick one up."

Eren grinned sheepishly, glimpsed Levi swallowing before returning his attention back to what's at hand. He wasn't sure what to make of it. He approached his previously messy desk, heart sunk a bit when he found everything organized to perfection. He rested his palms against it's golden edge and let his eyes wander over Levi's figure, the placidity of his stance subconsciously making Eren's stiff muscles go lax. Levi didn't seem like he wanted to be pestered with talk, so Eren refrained from that. Speculation was hopefully okay. He did look a bit different today, Eren was unsure why. Maybe his hair wasn't combed exactly to the side like it usually is, their were a few awry strands. Or maybe it was the snake around his neck, the one that stared deep into Eren's eyes and made a chill trail down his spine. Was the kohl around his eyes thinner than usual?

Levi glanced up at him, eyes annoyed."What?"

"What?" Eren mindlessly parrots.

He sighs and places his chin atop a hand, Eren suddenly hyper conscious under his gaze. He beckons Eren forward with a hand.

"Hm?"

"Come closer."

The brunet gnawed on the inside of his cheek in embarrassment and did so, already flushing. 

"Better view for you?"

This _was_ a better view, frankly, he could almost see the flecks of blue in Levi's eyes, he could see the tiny healing cut on his forehead. "I don't think I lied."

He blinks in genuine confusion.

"You look like a Roman statue."

His eyes flick away from the boy's face in an unreadable gesture, surely understanding the compliment better than Eren did himself. 

"I don't disgust you?"

Eren faltered, his lips twitched. He gave his features another onceover."I guess not." He would've liked to call the next few minutes awkwardly silent, but it wouldn't be an accurate way to put it. He meets his gaze for a moment, and they might be thinking the same thing--Eren had never thought of such a thing before and he knew he _shouldn't,_ but he does, and what happens next is so bleary It took effort to remember later.

Levi, reaching out. Eren had a moment to flinch or turn away, but he didn't. 

He's clumsy, half falling forward and scattering whatever mortal tidiness remained on his desk. He knows he shouldn't, _he knows he shouldn't_ , but Levi's lips are inviting and don't feel too uncomfortable on his own. He's still clumsy, because Levi's breathing and he isn't, opting to breathe through his mouth was stupid because he wasn't given a chance to. Maybe that was a grimace on Levi's lips or an amused smile, Eren can't tell anymore, he can't tell because he can't feel or hear anything over the sound of his heart, the air in his head, the limp in his limbs. 

Levi pulls him forward, more things drop, and he briefly wonders if the door's closed. Doesn't give it more than one instant as he succumbs to the impatient movements of Levi's lips. 

It was fierce. That was the only one worded description he could give to it, because the heat was driving him crazy, the still vengeful and harsh kisses that were traded for whatever happened yesterday made this all the same like before, the feeling made him hazy and absolutely brainless. There was still a bitter taste in the kiss, Eren knew that bitterness would always be an everlasting presence in the heat of tongue, the taming of teeth, and the strange contact of lips that was foreign to both. 

He wasn't sure when he'd gotten into Levi's lap, but the over the table stance was definitely annoying so he wasn't complaining. He was sure his eyeliner was smudged, his hair even more of a mess than possible, his tunic falling off a shoulder. He realized with a feeling that bordered between queasy horror and nervous excitement that Levi was trailing to his neck, and that _that_ would leave marks. He wouldn't be able to justify it with another brawl.

"Fuck." He pressed his palm against his lips in an embarrassed reaction when it came out too breathy, sensitive to the hot moisture of Levi's tongue gliding up from the very defined junction of his collar bones. He's nearly shivering with the sensation, the scrape of teeth against his skin, swallows down whatever moans he can and cringes in mortification at whatever still escapes. That was probably the one thing he was thinly and barely controlling at the moment. This was crazy. Kisses, gentle enough to be loving, firm enough to be a reminder of the man delivering them. Traveled up his neck, just under his lip, behind his ear, were baffling if Eren took a second to compare to what they were weeks before. 

"Is this better?" Levi speaks for the first time, and it brings Eren back to earth. 

"This is better." It a heavy and relieving exhale. What? The feeling? The fight? Eren wasn't sure. He didn't feel a strong desire to express that this didn't mean he didn't hate him anymore.

But maybe he likes him in the slightest bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wasn't even hot it was fucking awkward I'm sorry *gives up on anything make out altogether* I might have to borrow kakashi's book.  
> hahaha CUE the start of secret forbidden relationship (and another fucking arc) No I'm just kidding no more shitty arcs  
> This might be the last chapter  
> it might be not  
> I kinda wanna write smut for this fic but I don't know how the fuck to -.-''''


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